Amidst the turbulent rocking waves of a world turned upside down... I realized..

Gaze across the dead misty lake...I'm a hundred years to old...a thousand years too late...

2009-04-30T04:06:36Z

Okay.

We have three horses now. And zomigosh I think they like me. Mostly because I give them food and love them to itty pieces, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

We now have three lambs for this year! So adorable. X) Two boys that are totally black and one girl that's mostly black but with white on her forehead. With their long ears to the side, this chica looks kinda like a mini-cow, but they won't let me call her that. Or Oreo. Because, we have a white sheep named Cookie. Then we have Oreo Cookie, yes? : D Hey, it's better in my mind than 'Flower', because she USED to have a bit of white on her tail, and a few of my family said that she reminds them of Flower off of Bambi.

Yeah.

But I say 'used to have' on her tail because we've docked it off, which makes me rather said. Of course, we had to dock it right on the line where the white ended and the black began. Of course.

Um....what else to say....?

I miss my online friends, lots and lots?

I don't know if I mentioned 'The Erin Shirt', but it is of the awesome? I got it for five bucks, but I would have paid much more than that, because I saw it and said, "Dude, that totally looks like one of Erin Spenser's shirts! :D" It had grey and black horizontal stripes, with a V-neckline and it's of a nice, stretchy(aka: comfy) material. So I conned-- her, kindly asked my grandmother to buy it for me, because I was at the store with her. And she diiiiid! And I looove it! And several people have complimented me on it. Which makes me feel bubbly inside for some reason. I'm thinking horizontal stripes look okay on me or something, because most of my fave shirts have horizontal stripes. I heard that wasn't flattering, though. Maybe for a more typical shape? Anyways, I <3 the shirt, and had to mention it.

MTM finished reading 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, which I tried to read years ago but didn't get to because I checked out the wrong one. X_X Just a tip, there IS another book by the same title, but it's a pretty lame book in a sort of journal form about this guy and his weird ideals on life. It would have been hilarious and interesting if I hadn't totally been in the mood for a sci-fi fantasy adventure. Dude. Anyways, she's writing reports on Conseil, and Captain Nemo(who is of the freaking awesome), and all that jazz. And since she's been churning out poems like no tomorrow, she wrote one about....DUNDUNNNNN! Captain Nemo! The Lawliet of the literary world! : D Or one of them, anyways. So she handed the poem to me and begged me to write music to it. This has worked in the past, with her writing lyrics and me on melody/accompaniment, so I gave it a shot, and it sounds pretty awesome so far. I'm afraid it's too familiar, though. But that's my paranoia or something kicking in.

AAAAAnd I'm reading the Counte of Monte Cristo, which I borrowed from Moony AGES ago. And I'm 3/4ths of the way through. And it is AWESOME. I laughed at the part where the Count was rambling about telegraphs, and the news the next day that a faulty telegraph was sent through.

Okay, so it's not that funny to you, but *I* thought it was hilarious. And weird as it may seem, the movie ADDED stuff. Usually, they take away in an adaption of that sort, simplify the plot so as to cut back on time and complexity(lol), but half the stuff in the movie wasn't IN the book. Though admittedly, there have been several things bookwise that made it more intriguing - the fact that Fernand and Mercedes were cousins(oh yah), the fact that Edmond was already first mate, and more display of his utter devotion to his father, and the genius of the Count's schemes. In a way, he reminds me of the Phantom in this one, and I'm rather fond of thinking that they were influenced either by each other or by some other character that I haven't read of yet. As fleeting as the Count's....countenance...XD is to me, so was Erik's when I read Phantom Of The Opera. It is like you try your hardest to figure him out, but it's impossible - there are four more parts to his keen little mousetrap that one would never have guessed at.

Hm....what else? My avatar on this entry(the one with the eye) reminds me of Sandyra. I dunno why.

And I have that Captain Nemo song that we wrote stuck in my head....... X_X

And my cousins are relentless in their teasings. They keep telling me to get a boyfriend, darn it! Only because they want to tease me about it!

I'd much prefer a love song than a love story, myself. At least for the time being. If I ever get a mushhead(as I so tenderly refer to Moony's still-on BF, now) of my own, he'd have to keep up with my antics, I sware.

Because I can hardly keep up with myself anymore!

Love you all and miss you oodles of noodles.

Contacts are pretty much awesome when they work right. Yarly.

AND MY PIANO IS BACK IN OUR HOUSE AGAIN! :DDDD My baby cousin loves to play it.

And I finally saw August Rush. EVERYONE who knows me has said that I absolutely MUST see this movie, since it will probably be my most favorite film of all time. So I watched it. Yes. And my favorite scene was the one with the father and son in the park playing guitar together. YARLY. <3

W

2009-04-05T21:53:27Z

I forgot to tell you all.

Beth was staying the night at our house, and she decided to tell me a bedtime story(yes, yes...).

I asked if she would retell me the one about a three-inch-tall Ohno Satoshi and his little tiny piano that had jungle animals painted on it(completely out of her own head, I sware), but she said she couldn't remember all the words. So she decided to tell me a story about L.

I had a hard time not giggling hysterically through the whole story, it was SO freaking CUTE. I adore interrupting her for questions that help the story along.

She said that L turned into an angel, and that he went to heaven - where ALL the angels go, of course - and that he had a white robe and "a little circle thing above his head".

I asked if she meant a halo. She halted, a little confused, and said that it was golden. I asked if he could have a blue one. She said no. I said okay.

He went up into heaven. And God made him an angel, and he was happy in heaven. Then God sent him down to protect all of us, she told me, to watch over us. I said I was very happy L was looking out for everybody.

Then, since I was SO tired from digging holes, and because her little child's drawl is so thick and adorable, I could've sworn I heard her say, "And L pwotect us fwom the Walwus."

"The walruses?!" I asked, aghast at such a mental image as evil walruses coming to attack us, and L with full-on angelic gear coming to our rescue.

"NOOOO! THE WOBBEWS!" She argued adamantly. MTM was now cackling beside me on the bed.

"She said robbers, Ryuuzaki," she explained.

Oh, well that made sense.

But I still like to imagine L fighting a walrus.

FYI

2009-03-27T01:50:46Z

YG is awesome.

Nuff said.

And I'm sick of the song "I Will Run" by Misty Edwards. Nice song, but I've heard it a bajillion times since my two sisters and two cousins are gonna dance to it this Sunday. Zomigosh their first performance!

Bwhahaha.

You know what? Jesus rocks, and he definitely must know how to play guitar or something.

I owe posts. I need to fix Phantom Faces. I'm sorry for that one, guys. D :

LIKE SHEEP TO THE RHYTHM OF THE WAR DRUUUUUMMMS!

2009-02-27T03:44:33Z

Okies, okies. It's been too long since I updated. I know. You're all thrilled now. XD Right.

New things:

-Ice Storm(shush, I know it was ages ago, okay? I said it had been a long time)
-Dumb sheep(the sheep aren't new. But their expressions might be. And remember the lamb I helped bottle feed? My baby? SHE IS SO THE CUTEST. And she leaps up in this totally adorable way when she's happy. Kicking her legs out in all directions and twisting her fluffy white body sideways. It's LOLable)
-A very good friend of mine has a boyfriend now. ;)
-And so does another good friend of mine! D: ZOMIGOSH YARLY!?
-I've been going to this weekly Youth Group thing, and it's really cool so far. :) I went the first time with Ally(my cousin, remember?) and her sister, as well as MTM. If I hadn't gone, none of them would have. See what I have to deal with? A bunch of scaredy-cats. *pokes them*
-I have a headache. Ouch.

Anyways, met a girl at the Youth Group(daughter of the youth pastor. Go figure. XD) who within five minutes of knowing me was talking about starting a Christian band with me. As soon as she heard we both played piano. XD Silly enthusiastic peoples, you make me smile.

Youth Group has a dancing session in the beginning, learning interpretive dance routines to Christian songs, which is fun to watch, but I feel no desire to join. I don't express myself through dance. I choose other means, you know?

Okay, so a little testimonial-type thingy... there's this girl at the Youth Group. She seemed a little snarky, and was talking bad about the awesome youth band we have(one of the members MTM is starting to favor already), saying they were 'freaks and drummers' or something. I didn't want to be mean to her or judge her or anything, since I know nothing about her, but I didn't go seeking out her acquaintance, you know?

Well, sometimes God plans amusing and strange things to you that you just have to smile at. This week she came up to me out of the blue and started showing me her ringtones on her cell phone.(Why? I dunno...teens are random) She said she could only stand one song, and it was her ringtone, etc...I tried not to mention that in the three months I HAD my laptop, I had acquired several hundred songs at least...

Then she hands me this notebook, showing me this random-sounding piece of writing. I didn't get what it said - it seemed to be a note to someone. I dunno. *shrug* I didn't comment much, but responded alright I suppose. This girl was trying my patience, but I told myself not to judge or be mean. But I couldn't help being a little cold - I'm not naturally a rambler in public, really, preferring not to say anything unless I mean it or need to -and lately, I've been struggling with people I meet just taking-taking-taking from me, and leading me down a road of drama. They force me unknowingly into a ring of being-in-the-middle I can't escape from.

During the ministry-period tonight, she sent the notebook back to me, and a pen. It basically said she knew this guy at school who had a girlfriend, but said he loved HER, and she told him she loved him back, and was that wrong of her to love him?

.....0_o

Why, I wondered, is this nearly complete stranger asking me for relationship advice? GG, when you say my talent is encouragement, I had no idea the implications such a 'spiritual gift' would bring. Why do people ask ME for advice? I've never dated, had a boyfriend, or even been on a date. The only time my lips ever kissed a boy, I shoved him over and ran away shouting at him. I holed myself up reading most of my young life, and I loved it. I don't do relationships or seek people out I can give advice to. But for some reason, people must get the feeling I know something they don't.

Obviously, I wrote her back a note with the most sensible answer, in as simple and yet gentle a term as I could. "Trust and faithfulness are VERY big and important in a relationship. If he does this to his current gf, staring a relationship with you when he's still in a relationship with her, why wouldn't he do that to you? If he does love you, like he says, he would leave her and start dating you. It isn't wrong to love a person - but if he loves you he should know she isn't right for him, and would date YOU." Or something like that. She started writing a note back to me, as I tried to listen to the sermon and stop asking myself what I had said to make her think I was the younger, female version of Dr. Phil, or whatever.

She didn't finish her note before we were let out, and she said that she got exactly what I was trying to say, and something else I didn't hear all the way. Anyways, it was weird, and kind of funny. Perfect strangers are asking me how to deal with things. I've never seen her asking other people these kinds of things, so I don't think she's just gushing to anyone nearby...but it was odd.

GG, that situation I emailed you about is going okay, btw. There was a text or two, but I'm trying not to initiate anything extra or questionable. A bit stand-offish, I guess. But that's the only way I see to handle it. The problem is similar to above - I don't ASK to give them advice, or ASK about their lives. They just COME to me, and I don't want to just say, "No, bugger off, won't ya?"

So I guess I'll just stay a little colder to them, or something. I don't need to give advice, and I don't need other people to tell me what's wrong with me, or anything like that. I just...I like to be myself, and sometimes to be by myself. *shrug* I know who I don't want to associate with, but they just FOLLOW me around.

Anyways. CONGRATS TO MY TWO FRIENDS GG AND MOONY. I STILL LOVE YOU MORE THAN HE DOES. BWAHAHAHAHA. <333

Now I may go to Gramma's and play the wii all night. Relationship free, and just fine that way. I feel like I have to remind everyone that. Because it's true. And people seem to be a bit afraid that I'll get depressed or something if I don't have the same joy of a relationship that they do. It's true - I'm jealous that the guy'll get more time with you than I'll get. But that doesn't mean I don't like him, or that I'll ever stop loving you. :) Or that I'm unhappy.

Next time, remind me to tell you all the story of "Sheets of Egyptian Cotton", okay? It's a really sweet story, and a bit funny. ^.^

Christmas time....is here.....happiness...and cheer...

2008-12-26T19:29:47Z

Christmas has been great so far. At least, for me....but I've figured out I'm very much an optimist, so it's hard to ruin my spirits. I'm glad to be alive on Christmas, and I love wrapping presents for people, or spending money(only time of the year I spend much money at all...). This year, we had no tree. We had no house to live in. We slept in the shop on those board thingies in the back with mattresses on them. MTM is sharing on of the top bunk twins with me now, mostly because she felt lonely ALL the way on the bottom bunk. *rolls eyes and laughs* So I'm on the outside, and pretty squished every night. But now I know why I always sleep on my side. You need less room that way, see?

Spent Christmas Eve at my Grandmother's house. We always open up the grandparent gifts and exchange gifts as a whole on Christmas Eve, then spent Christmas morning with our individual families. This year, I got Beth in the drawing. I wanted to get her an L shirt SO bad. But that's half my spending money I've saved all year and mom said it wasn't a 'suitable gift' for a five year old. And she says Beth only likes L because I like L. X.X So I got her a bullfrog webkins, and her face lit up to open it. Ah, well. Maybe next year when she's had time to really do something to say "L is my favorite! I want all his merchandise!"

My name was drawn by one of my cousins, I think....I got a new sketchbook, some more mechanical pencils, and a Belle figurine. Mom asked why they were getting me Disney Princess figurines, and I said, "Because Beauty and the Beast is my favorite, and they now that. *smile*" It IS my favorite, and you are NEVER too old for a good ol' Disney film. I don't care who you are.

Would you care if Barack Obama watched Bambi? Hmmm? Well I don't. And he's probably seen it a million times with his kids. *nod nod*

From my mom's dad and his new wife, I got a gift card for thirty bucks. Which is way better, I have to admit, than the gifts from my mother's father's side for the last several years. Baby dolls and pink hair clips, and the same art set given four years in a row. X.X His new wife is cool. She knows gift cards make the heart grow fonder(and that you can't pick a suitable gift for a kid when you see her twice a year at best). And she hand-makes her cards, too. Lots of variety in those. She's cool.

From my grandma and her new husband(I can't call them all grandpa and grandma, now can I?), all of us kids got one big gift...the nintendo wii! : DDD We all opened it together and ALL OF THEM SCREAMED. I did not scream. I have a way of figuring out gifts, and I was prepared. I covered my ears. At first we had LITTLE trouble on where to set it up. Grampa is possessive of his big TV, but Gramma wanted us to set it up on that one because you can see it better than the tiny tv in the back room meant for kids games. In the end I let Gramma come in and tell him where we were setting up, because even if I want to, I can't tell the guy "I'm setting it up on the GOOD TV, man. Because I know you'll be playing it more than me anyway, and when I play I want to be able to see the freaking graphics!" In the end it was on the big TV, which I'm glad. Because there's more room out there, and it's where everyone else is, not closed off or anything. Makes it a group thing.(With twenty plus people!)

I set the whole thing up, too. But after a couple of seconds looking at the instructions I ditched the paperwork and just set it up by logic. It's basically like all the other game console setups, with a little difference. Sheesh. We spent the rest of the evening taking turns. I made my mii look like L. : D L is my favorite. I want all his merchandise! It was hilarious when I played Tennis against my mom. That little L can jump mighty high when he wants to. *nod nod* Everyone calls my character "the emo looking one". Which I'm getting used to. [/dork]

When we headed back home we were all giddy happy, to say the least. Lots of laughter and fun.

Gramma and Grampa stayed up until past three playing the new wii that's 'for us kids'.

Told ya so.

Mom was feeling very down this Christmas. I felt the depression accumulating as Christmas Eve wore on, but it only took a couple of little things to bring her to tears. I stayed up to help her, because I'm older this year and dad went right to bed after the party(it was past 11), and she didn't have anyone else to help her set things up. After a few moments of cleanup, and repeatedly telling me to "go to bed" because I was "still her baby girl and it's Christmas, for goodness sake!", she let me stay up to give her a hand. We cleared off a table in the front of the shop and I moved the little plastic tree with the blinky lights onto it, and we laid out the stockings. Every year we get an apple, an orange, and nuts in our stockings, without fail. Mom was upset because she didn't have nuts this year. I said it didn't matter, because we always give them all to my bro anyways. We don't like nuts. *rolls eyes* Then the fruit came up missing, and mom spazzed because they could have been left at Gramma's. She cried because all our traditions weren't pulling through this year, and this was ONE thing she wanted to keep going. The apple and the orange. Telling her it was 'just fruit' didn't seem to help, and I just held her and quietly told her that it didn't matter, we'd have extra fruit next year or something.

After awhile she felt better. And the fruit turned up on top of the fridge in a bag. Dad must have put it there, thinking to hide it until he pulled it out later.

After laying out stocking stuffers, we wrapped some presents, and I cheered her up with a couple in-jokes. She was sad that we didn't have much already, and that she couldn't get us the things we needed...that we were living in a shop, that we had nowhere to go, that we have to wash our laundry and shower at my aunt's house every other day, that the yarn shop is going out of business, that all the traditions we held were slipping away, that it didn't feel like Christmas...I did my best to cheer her up, and she mentioned that it was "all going to change now." I asked her what was going to change, and she mentioned that my older brother changed when he became an adult, and when I turn 18, she says, I'll change. I snuggled her and said that I would never stop loving her, or stop being proud of her for the way she raised me. I don't know how to tell her how proud I am of her and dad, and how to thank them for all they've sacrificed for my siblings and I...she told me I was awesome, and seemed to feel a little better. *phew*

We were taping the girls' presents, and it was a large plastic lapdesk, and I taped the wrapping paper to the actual plastic on one side, so it would be easier to wrap the second layer.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm taping it to the thingy."

"You can't tape it to the thingy!"

"Yes, I can! It makes it easier to wrap!"

"You can't tape it to the thingy! That's just wrong!"

"Mom, dad wraps most of our presents each year, right?"

"He'd like to think so..."

"Well, you said today he was a good wrapper. And he tapes it to the thingy."

"But you can't tape it to the thingy!"

"It'll come right off...!"

"But it's stuck to the thingy! It's hard to get off!"

"Then it'll just take them longer to unwrap! I'm taping it to the thingy!"

"YOU CAN'T TAPE IT TO THE THINGY JUST BECAUSE YOUR FATHER TAPES IT TO THE THINGY!"

And we laugh.

We talked back and forth about a couple of things, just having some one-on-one time in the quiet. I set the presents up under our little plastic tree-like thing, and mom insisted I couldn't turn around while she stuffed my stocking(like I couldn't wait a few hours to see...). We ended up not going to bed until five in the morning. XD

Christmas morning was very different this year. But we all gathered around the presents and opened them one-by-one. See, this year, mom suggested we do a 'Twelve Days Of Christmas', instead of one day of all the presents. On the first day, we open a present. On the second day, we open a present. For Twelve days we have Christmas! : DDD Which is technically thirteen if you count Christmas Eve. I like the idea, though that means I had to help mom organize how many days she had purchased. My present for the first day was....CARGO PANTS. W00t w00t for my first pair! They fit great and they're black. Mwhahaha. I've been saying for weeks that I want cargo pants. Because they looked so comfy, they have a million pockets(I'm not a purse sort of chica, so I can carry my stuff now without lugging a backpack around!....except I like lugging around the DeathNote bag Moony got me! : DDD) Also I needed new pants, because my only pair of jeans had a rip in it, and my brown jeans are lose, and my other pants are from two years ago or longer and they're too small. X.X So now I have decent pants. I also got a Deathnote T-shirt from MTM. ARIGATO GOZAIMASU! YAYNESS. And it got the ceremonious poke from Beth, who ALWAYS pokes my L shirt. Now she has two to poke.

I also got in my stocking a micron pen! My first ever! I've been wanting one of those to practice some decent inking with. :) Such bountiful gifts this year. ^.^

The munchkins got a set of chopsticks of their own. Now all five of us kids have a pair, which is hilarious. MTM got a rice cooker. XD And I got mom and dad a present this year, actually. I got dad a pair of jeans, because he only has the work pants his company gave him. Ugly brown stuff I won't even talk about...and I got mom a little glass angel. She used to have a bunch of glass things, but since she's had kids, I haven't seen any. Now that we're older, I thought it would be nice to let her have a little cabinet of pretty glass things. :) They both liked them.

And I got lots of fun gifts from my online friends! A Nicolith wally from Lily, avatars from KC, a Yukito banner from Poppy, and a Yukito/Erin drawing from GG! I think that's all of it....X.X THANK SO MUCHLY, LAVAS!

And now for the second day...hm...

Moony's party! : D

2008-12-24T01:23:10Z

Okies, went to Moony's party last weekend...it was fun.

She throws wild parties. Yarly. *rolls eyes and laughs*

I probably embarrassed her and all, but she knows I didn't meant it. I'm just like that. To be honest, I was afraid I'd clam up and be all shy when I met her friends, making me sound like a huge hypocrite. Well, no...that definitely wasn't the case... > . > Sorry Moony.

She was allowed to have a small party, and could only invite four friends. MTM and I were half of them. XD The others were friends from her school. I dunno if she's given them special names or not, but I can give them names...er....well, one already has one. I met Fishy on MSN the day before the party and accidentally spilled news of the coveted invite, and she ended up inviting him. Oopsies. Erm, he was very shy and timid, and reminded me of my brother with his adorkableness. I didn't want the poor guy to feel snubbed or forgotten, so once in awhile I'd try to engage in conversation with him, trying to think of things he might be interested in. Hopefully it worked.

Hm...the other friend I'm going to call Aussie. XD Don't ask. He was almost as shy as Fishy, though if you get him talking about music he gets much more talkative. When Aussie walked in, he looked at me and said, "I've seen you before..." and I cheerily said, "I'm the weird one that came up and talked to you in Musical Theatre Class." he nodded and remembered. XD

We got to play Rock Band, which I've wanted to play for ages now, but never gotten a chance to. Fishy was pretty good at the guitar, and we convinced Moony to take a turn. She kept hunting me down and trying to make me open her Xmas gift to me early. X.X I knew she would do that. I've decided Moony suffers from pathological fears of inadequacy. She feels like she's never good enough. And opening presents when no one else is makes her upset, because she feels like she's being selfish etc. I waited a good while, had a few laughs at her glaring at me, played with the cat, and finally opened the gift. It's not that I didn't REALLY want to open the gift. But I don't want her to think I'm going to let her off that easy. XD And maybe someday I'll convince her how awesome she is. Until then she doesn't believe me. *shrug*

Anyways, I tried out the drums to rock band and I think I did pretty good. I was getting 80 percents and such on the Medium level. The Metallica songs were fun and challenging. ^ . ^

After that we went out for pizza and Aussie arrived. I let mom know via text that we would be hanging out longer than expected, and she said we had until 8 then my bro would pick us up. My though, "aww.....I have a curfew. X.X"

Moony started opening presents, and I attacked her with a camera on my phone. She liked my present best I think. XD It was a live concert DVD of D'espairsray. Which I almost kept for myself. We got to watch it while I was at her house, so that was pretty much awesome. The encore had 'Forbidden'.

While watching it, I chatted on and off with Aussie about music. I officially like him. He looks like my cool Uncle with his blond hair and black clothes, and he talks really quiet like him, too. Well, Uncle talks quiet when he's not laughing maniacally or swearing. XD Hahaha... And no one else really chats to me about music in RL that long, so that was awesome. We talked about the fun and harder parts of composing music, etc. And guess what? :D

I pulled out Moony's sister's keyboard(woah weird sentence) and started playing some songs for Moony. I played some Dresden Dolls, which Aussie had heard of, and then started on Amber Street At Midnight, one of my originals. And Aussie picked up a guitar and started playing it with me by ear. MADE ME SO HAPPY. It sounds much cooler on guitar, btw.

Fishy thinks I'm weird. I kept using big words like 'pyschological', 'charismatic' and 'pathological'. I can't remember most of the words I used. But he kept looking at me wondering what I'd just said, so then Moony or I would translate.

Chatted with Moony's younger sister about anime over cake. Didn't eat most of it because I don't like ice cream, and it was mostly ice cream. Too cold for me, man. Though I noticed later that it might have looked like I didn't want to get fat from eating the huge cake. X . X The people that know me would know better than that, though....

Turned out Moony's Xmas gift to me was a Deathnote messenger bag in a tan color(it's awesomness! I already packed my stuff into it. No more weird purse-carrying! :D) and a keychain with L on it, which is pure awesomeness. BTW, I'm going to show it to adorable Beth. She may want to see that keychain...

Well, going out. I had an awesome time at the party being my usual strange self. *skitters off*

IT'S CHRISTMASTIME

2008-12-20T05:15:08Z

JIOWJHGOIEWAHGIOEWAJNGOIWNMDSSSSSSS

I WANTZ

http://www.justmanga.com/jmcover/GSC070907.jpg

And just so because it makes me happy....http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh221/himuradesius/anime%20guys/l.jpg

I drew Beth in the Christmas drawing. So happy. I asked her what she wanted. Here is her list:

1. For my lose tooth to be gone.
2. For my new tooth to come in.
3. An L doll.
4. An L flashlight.
5. Two webkins, a bullfrog and a pony!

I have never encouraged or discouraged her love of L, btw. And she said doll before I found that FREAKING CUTE FIGURINE.

WHICH IS EXPENSIVE.

The first day she knew about L was when I was first wearing the shirt, she saw it and giggled, saying he looked silly, and asking to poke him. Yes, I let her poke my shirt. She pokes his face, while I hold the shirt out between my fingers.

And the teeth thing was cute. Especially since the lose tooth is just her wishful thinking. It's not lose.

HJAOIHJGIOEJWOIFRJW KAWAII.

Beauty Is The Beast

2008-12-19T22:37:47Z

Okay, to be honest, I just want to show off the new avatars. Because I'm a dork like that. That's the only real reason for this entry.

I finished reading a new manga last night called Beauty Is The Beast, which I'm not sure if I mentioned before. It has in the recent weeks been the manga I read four books of in one sitting after I check 'The Way To Your Heart' and see they only updated ONE PAGE. What a meaner thing to do. Even though I totally understand the artist has a real life(unlike me) and updates whenever she can.

KC, I don't like mangas because they have an intriguing storyline(though some do) or unique and non-stereotypical characters(though I go giddy when I come across them), or because the dialogue is the best(after all, all the ones I read have to be a translated version anyway). I read manga for the artwork. And I adored the artwork for this last manga. I'm just saying....don't diss an art form just because the plotlines are LOLable. KK? Love ya. ;)

Anyways, I found this manga by accident, I'm gonna try and read several in alphabetical order. As many as I can before I lost interest. XD The artwork for Beauty Is The Beast looked almost like it was a raw pencil form, especially with the vague and sometimes even nonexistent lines, which I really liked. At first I wondered how a story could be efficiently told when the characters were drawn so lightly, sometimes as if they were mere sketches, but then I realized that it was just a more delicate style than I was used to. Instead of the inked, cleaned, and totally repaired version, this seemed to me more emotive in a sense. Even if the characters were doing something random or silly, the characters were all drawn beautifully and you could feel the artist's love for the characters and the work through every frame. And sometimes the artist changed it up with a really different style that somehow worked very well, IMO.

As for the storyline and plot summary, Beauty Is The Beast was a light-hearted comedy that won't have you in tears or anything, but was still very enjoyable. The main character, Eimi, was very endearing and sweet. Very much the small animal type. *smile* She's a bit tomboyish, and must have an immune system a hundred times the average person. She snacks pretty much constantly, and it becomes a running joke for her to offer the last half of whatever she's eating to people, hoping it makes them feel better. Usually they just stare at her in disbelief and walk away.

Eimi moves into the dorms of her school after her parents move to the opposite side of Japan, and meets her odd new room mate, who SO reminds me of Lilith in character design. A very quirky character, as one of her greatest loves is studying the physique and beauty of the human body(she started dating a guy because he was an athlete. Haha...) And throughout the first part of the manga, didn't seem likely to open herself up to a real emotional relationship with this guy who has liked her for a long time. But even though he knew she wasn't really into him, he still felt good about the relationship and stuck around, and he was very sweet. I liked his character.

There's your typical love triangle in the story, but it ended a bit differently than I would have expected. There are hints, but the reader is definitely able to imagine a scenario and let the girl end up with whomever the reader wishes. Though of course there's the one guy that has been created that makes all the readers want her to end up with HIM. But then again, real love triangles happen all the time, and it's actually a more realistic plotline than most people seem to realize. So even if it's a regurgitated idea, I'm okay with it if there is enough of a refreshing view on that subject.

Hmmm...the character of Wanichin(I can't help calling him that. It's the silly little nickname Eimi gives him)...he reminds me of some of my own characters at bits, and sometimes he acts like a stubborn child. Because of his split ethnicity, he is seen as an outcast among the rest of the students, which I think makes sense. The more I study Japanese society(which hasn't been much, I am afraid), the more I see that it's a very grouped up society. It's 'them' and 'us' oriented, so it would make sense for someone going against the norm to be quickly seen as an outcast. Strangely enough, even though the creator gradually opens up Wanichin's past in the last few chapters(in between a strange escapade where he and Eimi are lost in the woods. Because she keeps eating instead of calling her parents and asking where her house is...long story), and we soon see that his childhood wasn't the easiest, he still doesn't seem like your typical 'my life sucked now I'm depressed and unsociable'. In stories like these, with a hint of stereotypical plot - in this case, the tall dark handsome boy who unknowingly woos every woman who sees him - I always love to study the actual guy, to see how he is allowed to develop. Each time is a little differently, and it's very interesting to read into it. Wanichin has met with his share of scenarios he'd rather not talk about, but he still seems to find some sort of sarcastic humor in it, and he doesn't seem eager to take out any anger on other people. Though, admittedly, he has a temper, I don't recall seeing him physically hurt anybody, throw any punches, or even really threaten anybody. It was merely a 'stay back, I have my bubble' situation. Also, the other students seeing him as an outcast while at the same time admitting his natural attraction, always hold a bit of fear around his persona.

Enter Eimi, who is a dork and clumsy and can't stop eating. It isn't just Wanichin that she socially accepts without a question, as she's naive to the hints thrown her way(constantly, I think. Either that or she just chooses to ignore them, which is my suspicion), but also several other characters. She finds her roommate's obsession with watching the human body weird, but doesn't really mind it, thereby winning the girl's trust. She wins the heart of a young boy halfway through because of her optimism and non-typical girl attitude - she'd rather go to an all-you-can-eat-buffet or the circus than shopping any day - and remains until the end optimistic and friendly. She does get depressed at points, though. But for the most part, her character is drawn with this hilarious-looking chibi head, and she's usually found holding the wrapper of whatever food she nibbled on last. She likes Wanichin, and instead of sitting back and being intimidated by him, she often goes up and starts talking to him, and insists on hanging out with him. Wanichin doesn't really argue, and finds her more amusing than anything. Eimi never directly suggests that she wants to date him, nor does she kiss him. But she thinks he's pretty. XD There was this episode with a film that ended up rather hilarious, I had to literally LOL and show my sister. Also, she has a habit similar to mine - she likes to watch people sleep. People are usually creeped out by that, but I like to watch them.

Anyways, the storytelling was a bit slow at points, and it seemed more 'the life and times of a dorky student' than a real 'romance'. There were subplots that intrigued me, and it was a great way to waste some time. I'm going to go back through and draw some of the scenes, and study the art style more. ^ . ^ Be warned, though, there are some slightly mature scenes in it, usually involving Wanichin.

GG. LITTLE WANICHIN LOOKS EXACTLY HOW I IMAGINE LIL YUKITO. He doesn't look like him when they're older, though. I don't think....hm...

Anyways. Just wanted to write this down in my little virtual notebook.

OHOH! I found more sheet music! Tori Amos! : DDD I'm gonna keep looking for Dresden Dolls stuff.

"I'll be, I'll be holding on...I see, right where I belong...."

2008-12-19T06:29:28Z

Common questions I've been answering and will answer once more here:

1. How's the house going?
It's going great so far. We have the floor done, walls up with plywood, a roof with SHINGLES on it(oh man we moving uptown!), and there's a shiny new door. There's a little wood stove in it, which warms up the 16x24 place quite nicely. There is a old(think forty years old) trailor hooked up to it that us girls will be using for a bedroom, which is better than nothing. The place is freezing at night, though. And the walls of trailors get wet from condensation if it DOES get warm, which means an hour later when it cools down, it's ICY water dripping on your head. X . X

2. What have you been up to?
Pretty much nothing. Math, watching kids, math, trying VERY hard not to get distracted with the little sporatic sessions of internet I have so I can post, math...

3. No pressure or anything, but when are you gonna post for me in X place eh? :D
I WEEP. I'm trying, but I don't know when it'll be. I know I owe a million places, but I am borrowing compys and internet and avoiding work to get on at all, so it's difficult. Plus, some of my characters(like Heather and Catherine) have NO muse right now, and that sucks majorly.

4. You're online?!?!?!?!
FOR THE MILISECOND YES. AND I MISS YOU ALL OODLES AMOUNTS. YARLY.

5. What's new with you?
Well, my laptop is still dead, I think it needs a new battery. The scroll thingy on my phone(vital to select anything) popped off and broke, and is now barely balanced in the hole it once inhabited. So I could lose it at anytime. X . X Working on fixing that.

Also, my great-grandfather finally passed away this weekend. He's been ready to go ever since my great-grandmother died of cancer five years ago. He was eighty-six, very frail, and caught pneumonia. His body didn't stand a chance. Weirdly enough, I'm not sad about it. Not at all. I dunno if that's normal or not, but I'm not grieving about it. Because seriously, I've been way more melancholy thinking about how much he loved his wife, and how much he wants to be with her. Just last week he told my mom, while talking to her for an hour or so, "Well, I kept my promise. Down by the river near our house one day, she made me promise that she would go first. So she didn't have to go through losing me." My great-grandfather married my great-grandmother right after she divorced her first husband, who she had had several kids with. I heard it was a very bad relationship, and my grandfather used to be friends with her husband, and come over a lot. Eventually they found each other in love, and she left him. Which, then, was a huge deal. Divorces weren't a weekly thing back then. Anyways, it was a very sweet relationship, and I'm seriously happy for him.

CHRISTMAS PRESENTS! : DDD YEAH! I managed to get Moony a bday present, a Christmas present, and MTM a Christmas present, for about 30 bucks. I had to swindle the internet for a couple good deals, some shipping savings, etc. Hopefully they'll get here on time. If not, I'm still happy with the purchases. Rock on, chicas!

Now to find out what to get my online buds..

GG, Yukito has been working on his song for Erin. It's cuuute. I played around with a possible piano intro from it yesterday, and MTM said it sounded 'cute'. Weird for one of my songs, but heh. This is Yukito, trying to say sorry. And it's aaadorable.

Had a dream last night. Somehow Yukito went into the future and met his thirteen-year-old daughter. She had his hair. ;) And Erin's big, beautiful eyes. Haha....that made GG very happy.

I miss Nicolith. And I want to watch Katie/Zachary grow and flower. Lily, did you notice that our fluff stuffles is usually you with the guy and me with the girl? How about we plot and switch it up a bit, hmmm? : D

Hm....many hours at property with no electricity, no internet, no television, no heater, and no piano means that MTM and I were plotting majorly over the past week or so. There are things that involve [Adder and Michael], one with [Adder, Lilith, Ambrose, Nicolas, Heather, Zuco and the Bingleys](that one sounds fun, yeah?), and [Kagayaki, Yukito, Erin and Cassie]. Of course, as these develop we'll get those involved permission to use their babies, and adjust as necessary, but still...it's been fun thinking up ideas. We ended up writing down our roleplaying in a notebook to keep us busy, and MTM and I RPed four-year-old Yukito and six-year-old Kagayaki. MAN THAT WAS FREAKING KAWAII.

Our library offers a free Japanese online learning program, which I did not know about. There are 99 lessons, so this should be awesome. I learned how to say 'what is your name?' - 'watashi no namae wa nan desu ka?'. Hopefully my memory didn't screw that up. I also went up to MTM and told her 'my name is Yukito' as a guy would say it, 'boku no namae wa Yukito desu'. Which made her grin really widely and hug me.

My new hair cut is a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because it's easy to care for, and I can tell mom the hair covering my right eye and the messy look are how it's SUPPOSED to be. Also, because both Beth(the uber kawaii girl who thinks I rock) and her mom said my hair looks a lot like L's now. *puffs out chest* It's a curseblessing(a blurse?) because that means people are ruffling my hair TONS now. Like, every day. Tons of ruffles. Mom and dad ganged up on me yesterday. Today Yumi and MTM ruffled my hair so roughly and so much I fell to the ground. Which, considering my Daniel tendencies, isn't so hard to believe...but still....

Ever have one of those days where you've accomplished one or two things, but nothing to make yourself feel very much better....and you cure that by doing something meaningless and just time-om-nomming, like looking for a whole new set of avatars? Yeah, that's what I've been up to today. And I had a long ramble with Moonychan about some of her current issues. It's hard to know I can't really do anything to help her at this point. But I have great hopes for her. She's a very fabulous sisterfriend, and she's been a real friend to me, so I'm there for her, you know? My bud. One of my very few real-life friends. I hope she realizes how much she means to me, just being there to have ruffle-wars with. Most of my life I've felt like I'm constantly working, constantly growing, and hidden away from the world in my nonsocialableness, and I never had many friends, or met many people. But she makes me feel like that doesn't really matter. That even if I have no idea who that pop idol is, I'm still kinda cool, and even if I'm clumsy and a huge dork and likely to embarass her a million times over, she'll still come hang out with me every possible weekend. Either that or she's unable to say 'no' to anybody, and is trying in vain to find a nice way to tell me to leave her alone. XD

Trembling in the last of reveries...foreign words ring through the night...

2008-12-09T07:18:32Z

Okies. Have a stove in our house. Nice, warm fire = awesome. Nice, warm fire that lets smoke AWAY from you = doubly awesome.

Keep in mind, peeps, we've been working on our house less than a month. It's way less if you keep in mind we've worked for a week and three weekends in total. But also keep in mind that the house is SMALL. We're talking, the finished product will be 24 x 16 feet. Which sounds really tiny, especially with seven people, one bathroom in there somewhere and one bedroom. Ha. But compared to living...well....NOWHERE, it'll be an upgrade. I'm sick of washing my hair in sicks and at other people's houses, and I'm tired of sleeping on a mattress on a floor or a couch that's too small for me. :( And I want my computer back. The phone battery worked, which is a million kinds of awesome now. But the computer cord I bought won't charge it, which means my battery is kaputs. Ahh...well...another $30-$40 bucks for that which I'll actually be earning for that dog-gone sweater I repaired for this lady. Long story, but I've been working on it FOREVER. And I'm finally done with it and can give it back and get paid. W00T. But mom and dad are aware of my laments for a cord, so I may end up waiting on that a bit longer until after Christmas and my bday. :D

BTW, in case you didn't know, my bday is about a week after Christmas. Which usually means everyone is broke by then, so my weirdness cheers them up. Haha...I've gotten some weird gifts over the years, too. I'm sick of those people who give me hair barrettes and stuff, though. They were ALWAYS too small for my thick head of hair. Even when I was four, okay? Too little of a clip. Yarly. See me more than once a year and they might get a clue, ne?

Hm...by the time I was four I had hair to my waist....hm...those were the days...looong ago. And it was blondish then,too. Haha.

Okies okies....so, school is looking up. Found out I have approximately two years of school to do this year, in order to be on-track. Whoopie. Luckily enough, I've decided to do this extra math thing that's actually really easy stuff. I mean, really. It's basically teaching you to use logic and thinking skills in math and applying them to real life situations. Dude. I'm doing ARITHMETIC again. What a breeze. Did some 'fill in the blank' division problems today, and it wasn't the easiest thing in the world(since division makes me angry...and you don't want to make me angry), but it was waaay easier than some of the math I'm doing.

BTW, getting bro to help me on math was one of the smartest things in the world. w00t kaw00t. He's worked on it way more recently than mom, and it's like I can understand it better on a 'coming from your peer' level.

The adorable Beth was over today, and I happened to be wearing my L shirt today, which she promptly poked. You should have heard her when I helped her write her Christmas list(she sat in my lap and I prodded her with suggestions). Here's how the convo went basically:

Me: And what else do you want?
Beth: *thinks adorably* Um....a webkins!
Me: What kind?
Beth: A horsie webkins!
Me: Okaaay...and what else?
Beth: I dunno...
Me: How about...*thinks of something useful and shiny that kids love*...a flashlight?
Beth: YEAH! A flashlight!
Me: What color?
Beth: Um....black!
Me: *writes* A black...flashlight. Okay, and what el-
Beth: WITH L ON IT! A BLACK FLASHLIGHT WITH L ON IT!
Me: El oh ell.....
Beth: And an L shirt!
Me: Okies...an L shirt...
Beth: *in an 'as-a-matter-of-fact' tone* In MY size.
Me: Oh, of COURSE. *writes while grinning*

She's so elated when she tells me these things. I told her mom it might be more cost-effective if she bought a few pages of L stickers and just stuck them on her things. She laughed and said she'd considered it.

SO CUTE! DOMO KAWAII!!

And Beth's older brother decided to start calling me 'captain'. He doesn't realize MTM finds this WAY amusing. Because Ohno Satoshi of Arashi is called the 'leader' or 'captain'. XD

Well, it's obvious it's December, since everyone is trying to slyly figure out what to get everyone else. Being me, I go up to people and say, "What do you want for Christmas?"

My list of 'to gets' is really odd. It's all stuff that's in-jokes or personal between that person and me, though it's not very big or important and most of it's noooot expensive at all. The hardest so far has been my parents, and Momochan.

And my online friends...oh noesssss! What to get you that will bring you happiness and good cheer for the holiday! DDDD:

Cake?

That reminds me...I meant to type up my whole wacked-out dream in my LJ...but it's 1:15 and I know mom'll ground me if she finds me on the compy right now...so I gotta go. Just be sure it was weird..and I actually remembered it.

FYI: Chorus to my newest song:

Trembling in the last of reveries
Foreign words ring through the night
Obtain the myriad of horrors
Screams in a broken song

GG what you think? :D There's more but that's what is stuck in mah head. MOONY I NEED TO GIVE YOU THIS SONG YAH? I have it recorded and it came out decent.

Am I dork when I listen to my own music on my mp3? I CAN'T HELP IT I MISS BEING ABLE TO PLAY MY PIANO.

maskednicci @ 2008-12-03T22:48:00

2008-12-04T06:14:10Z

I owe pretty much everywhere, RPwise.

WE HAS HOUSE PEEPS. W00TW00T. But tis a little drafty still. X.X

It's cold outside. We had flurries yesterday at the property. Which = my dad, my adoptive uncle, my mom, and me all rushing to cover the wood and saws etc, so that stuffles didn't get ruined. We officially have a floor. In case you didn't know, we're doing everything ourselves. It's literally starting from the ground and moving upward. We picked a grassy knoll and now we're building on it. XD

First, we dug holes. Very fun on cold frozen ground in heavy winds that chill you to the bone....

Then, we started mixing concrete and poured it into the holes at a certain, exact depth so we could have concrete support. I am now dubbed 'wheelbarrow girl' because I pushed that friggin' wheelbarrow back and forth a hundred times with that concrete in it. X.X

We set concrete cylinders in the ground. Into these cardboard things. Yeah. I hold wheelbarrow. And shiver.

Next day they were supposed to be dry. But when dad started building one of them crumbled. Much depression and worry about the others. Apparently, the cold doesn't effect it too much, but it DOES effect the speed of the drying. In fact, when it's too hot/humid, workers have to spray the concrete down with water so it doesn't dry too much. Scary stuff, concrete, if you ask me. We had to relay another one and lost two days work time. X_X

Ummmmmm..then we started laying beams down, and floor joyces(sp?), and they started building walls. Which meant mom was at the table saw, using her analytical abilities to totally pwn and get the exact cut every time. : DDD We all helped to lift and hold the wall frames up while dad nailed them into the floor. SOOO fun watching that come up. It's really awesome to watch our house being built, guys. It's small, and all DIY etc, but I get to watch this SPOT, this piece of GRASS and ROCKS and stuff, slowly grow upward into what will be my first real home. It's freaking amazing.

Ok...after the walls were up, we had our doorways cut into the wall(dad is a perfectionist when he does things, so the walls are very sturdy and straight yeahyeahyeah. No worries, GG. My dad built it, so it no fall down. ;D) and the windows(fun to peek through. Especially when it's pointless since there's no real wall there. XDD), then we had to start work on the roof. YIPES IT WAS COLD. Flurries fell twice while we were out there, but it wasn't quite cold enough to stick(thank you, God!), but that meant icy snowish/rain kept falling. X_X We haven't got the roof finished, because it got dark and freezing with the snowish rain and all, but half the roof is covered in plywood, and this weekend we'll go back out, finish laying the plywood down, and maybe(MAYBE) we can afford shingles. Yeah, don't ask. We don't know how we'll afford food after the land payment, even if we aren't living in a house, paying rent, or utilities(besides the shop's). Even without those costs, it seems to cost more to NOT have a house, apparently. So dad doesn't know how we'll get shingles. *sigh* We'll have to see how it goes, I suppose.

My phone battery is dead. What IS it with me and killing the power on my electronics? Hardly ever is it any other problem. My mp3 cord is busted, but luckily I can borrow MTM's. My laptop cord got busted TWICE and the battery died once(it's hand-me-down, but still...). And now my cell phone went dead on me. X.X Mom says I'm too rough on things, but that doesn't explain away batteries! Sure, I've dropped all this stuff once or twice(especially the mp3. Luckily it's some hardcore metal or something like that, so it just takes forever to start up now)

OHYEAH. BTW, GG. I used my money that my aunt FINALLY paid me for those phone calls(I told her I could wait to get paid because she lost all her calls for the next month after I worked for her, and I know she's a single mom now trying to take care of five kids. YIPES. She's made it. More on that in a sec), so now I paid back MTM some of the money she gave me to pay for my tests, and bought a new phone battery and...A LAPTOP CORD. W00T. Let's hope and pray that's all it needs, because I am sick of not being able to use my laptop. All my images, all my music(WEEP FOR ME. I DIDN'T HAVE A PERFECT CIRCLE ON MY MP3 WHEN IT DIED. I MISS MY MELLOW AWESOME MUSICS. AS WELL AS FIFTY MILLION OTHER SONGS I MISS.), all my writing, all my stuff. It's all on that compy, and I WANT IT BACK.

Wow so many caps this entry, eh?

So maybe I'll have my laptop cord and my phone back. I miss them both terribly. I've gotten by, but every once in awhile I realize how handy they are to have, hand-me-down, broken down, each of them with a hundred things I have to remember to do to keep them alive(worked well, didn't it?), but they are MINE. And it means I can call Moony when I want, I can chat with my friends when I want, I can download all those artists GG has been telling me about, I can write down that omg-cool-lyrics I hear in my head when I'm far away from my compy and I don't want to forget by the time I get to it. Did you know I write most of my lyrics on my phone? It's cool. I save them into the notepads and then type them up in open office later. Maybe I'll show some of them to you, GG. See what you think. I don't think anyone else is really all that interested, but I'm sure you'll give me some tips.

Which reminds me. MTM was writing and rewriting that poem/riddle thing Ambrose used in the Square interaction with Nicolas a million years ago, and she was having trouble. I pointed out that she used the word 'keen', which, what the heck, rhymed really well with the context. But I couldn't get her to understand that poetry is so much more than rhyming the words, it has to do with the correct feel, sound, beat, and color of the words. And yes, to me, words have color. Artists have color, too. Nightwish's color, for instance, have gone through phases. Once CD, Highest Hopes CD, most of the stuff with Tarja, is a burgundy and cool blue color for me. With the whole Tarja-leaves thing, the style of the music altered, more than just with the addition of the new vocalist Annette. It became more of a black-leather and icy blue color. ;) Maybe with a bit of pale-skin color. I dunno. I'm weird describing that. People have colors, too. ^.^

Anyways, she was writing poetry and I tried to explain the FLAVOR of words to her. Then I told her she would have to actually read some poetry by different people to get a feel for poetry's beat and rhythm, and to have some experience on imagery. Then, when she didn't seem to quite believe me, I reworked a version of the poem myself and showed her. Rough draft, etc etc. But I liked how it came out. I even took the time to make sure it had the same amount of syllables, which I'm usually too lazy to do, or I use it in a song so it doesn't matter as much. Anyways, she liked it, and kept saying stuff like, "why do yours sound so cool?" etc etc. I poked her and told her to listen to me more. Then gave her a long list of poets to look up. Including Edgar Allan Poe, because he rocks bloody Russian socks, and seems to hold a darker genre feel that she will probably use rather than, say, Shel Silverstein stuff. Even though his "Treehouse" poem is one of my absolute FAVES.

Just because, you know, it has the right color.

OOH. I GOT MY HAIRCUT AGAIN FINALLY. Yeahyeah..It's been about six months so it was getting a bit long. Not as long as usual, only several inches past my shoulders. Anyways, took a chance and got a short cut to my chin. Lots of layers and razor cuts. It's not quite L hair, but it's kinda close. ;) I can ruffle it up and fluff it up and it looks messy and stuff. And my bands are sideswept into my face, which irritates all the adults around me, but I LOVE it. Beth's mom said it looked emo. >.>

Feh. Stereotypes.

LOL. The guy that cut my hair made me smile. He saw my pic that I brought(when I'm not so lazy I'll post it so you guys can see my reference), he did this funny gesture and in a colorful voice said, "OmiGOSH, that's so CUTE!" Then proceeded to show it to several of his haircutting friends, all of which agreed it was 'cute'. Okay, not what I was going for, but I felt glad someone agreed with me it was a cool cut to get. MWHAHA. Yumichan got a cut, too. We did a dual appt, and she got some fluffy layers that fit her well.

Yukito muse is up the wazoo, but I can't write posts because I waiver between away at the property, doing math, and being grounded. It's insane, I tell you. 90% of the time I'm on I'm not supposed to be, these days. Wish it wasn't so. We'll see if things even out in the near future.

And...it's late, I just finished catching up on Grey's Anatomy(HAHA. split-second shot of 1925 version of POTO on the screen when the little girl was flipping through channels. I totally saw it). I like how Alex and Sloane's characters are developing. Not a rabid watcher of the show, but it's a fun thing to watch with my mom, along with One Tree Hill. I kinda wanna go back and watch previous seasons. I just started watching it this last year, to be honest.

AAAAAAAND....it's late. So I'm going to bed, I sware.

LOL..what the heck.

2008-11-14T01:05:48Z

What the heck, I'll do my own meme. There's no law against it.

Plus I wanted to show you guys that I have a couple of new avatars I made. MOONY GUESS WHO. YUP.

[Y/N SECTION]

1. Have you done more than four memes in the last two months?
According to LJ, I've only done three ever, this'll be my fourth. But I probably have on deviantart. It's addictive. X.X

2. Have you ever screamed into your pillow?
Yes. Wasn't as fulfilling as I thought it would be.

3. Have you walked in the rain alone?
As often as I can. Usually mom comes out and tells me I'll get a cold though, etc etc. Or I find out my cellphone/mp3 is in my pocket and go OH SNAP.

4. Been laughed at for using a long or uncommon word?
Yes.

5. Own a cell phone?
Yes.

6. Like your current hairstyle?
Meh. It's okay, because it's the grown-out version of the one I chose. I really want another one, though. It's already past my shoulders again and it's only been a couple of months.

7. Happy with your handwriting?
No.

8. Play one or more instruments proficiently?
Piano. Vocals could count but I wouldn't say that's proficiently.

9. Been on LJ for more than a year?
Actually jah. Just over two years now. (LOL...LJ says I've made 148 entries, gotten 463 comments received and posted 589 comments. WOWZAH I'M COOL NOW.)

10. Snorted while laughing?
Yes, once or twice.

11. Waiting for "The One"?
Sure, why not? But I'll stay busy in the meantime.;)

12. Have you ever held a friend as they cried?
Yes. Hardest and easiest thing to do, ever.

13. Can you do HTML, or CSS?
Not really. I only know a couple tags if any, just enough to put text on a page using raw HTML.

14. Know without looking them up what those last two acronyms stand for?
I did once but my memory sucks so....no. XD

15. Ever sang in the store under your breath?
YES. ALL THE TIME. So why does my family still look at me in surprise?

16. Knit or crochet?
Knit knit knit.

17. Do you give people 'points'? As in, cool points or nerd points or sarcasm points?
Yup. And today GG won, like, four hundred cool points. Random customer lost forty.

18. Do you know a person who REALLY annoys you but you can't find a way to get rid of them?
Yes.

19. Ever find yourself overthinking things?
All the time.

20. Know an entire song in another language that you could sing right now?
I know partial songs in Italian, Japanese, Spanish, French, etc. But the only complete one is Fantome de l'Opera. And that was ages ago, so I probably couldn't remember it.

21. Have an article of clothing that makes you feel good just wearing?
YES MY DEATHNOTE TSHIRT. KAWOOT WOOT. ARIGATOU MTM!

22. Like being touched?
Sometimes. Sometimes I really, really hate it. It depends on what you mean with your touch, why you're doing it, etc.

23. Do you think you are beautiful/pretty/handsome?
I am pretty. Nothing extravagant, but pretty. ^.^

24. Do you regularly exercise in some form?
Nope. I arez lazy. Extremely.

25. Use some sort of cleaner/anti-acne cream?
When I remember I use some pro-activ my mom bought months ago. It's still around. ;)

[QUESTIONNAIRE SECTION]

26. What is/are your religion/beliefs? (As lengthy as you like)
I am a Christian, which means I believe in a divine being(God), and that he sent his son Jesus to earth to pay for our sins. I like to look at things in strange ways, though, so what I think sets me about from the norm 'Christianity theme' is that sometimes I think of stories in the Bible to hold a more metaphorical meaning, and I don't really hold the Bible as a literal truth in its current form, being as how so much is lost in translation and that even if God's word isn't flawed, writers are(emphasis here), and I can't take every word as absolutely correct. It's like how some math books are trying to say the same thing, the same way to work out a problem and find the answers, but how it's said makes all the difference. A bad math book not only confuses you on its meaning, but it also teaches you how to get the wrong answers. I think that religion is a one-on-one thing with God, so I'm not as very out-spoken about it as some are. I'm not going door to door asking you to listen to me preach. I don't really go to church regularly, and I'm not against hardcore metal or swearing or any of that stuff. I'm very strange that way, but whatever. *shrug* It doesn't mean I'm slacking on my religion, though. Not really. Since it's a one-on-one thing, I don't think it really matters if I go to church or read the Bible daily to 'make me a Christian'. I think that what makes me a Christian is my ability to talk to God in MY OWN WORDS(like he's sitting in front of me, without all this 'holy Father, may you guide us and protect us' that sounds so rehearsed. Fine with me if you do that, but it feels fake to me.) and my faith that holds strong when I'm alone and just thinking. Yay I rambled! *abrupt end*

27. What is the most attractive feature on a person to you?
HAIR. Haha...bet none of you saw that coming. But seriously. Good hair is really attractive to me.

28. What languages do you speak and how fluently?
I speak SOME Spanish, French, Italian, ASL, and Japanese. BWHAHA.

29. Coolest video game(s) ever?
Secret Of Mana and the Zelda games! FTW!

30. Look at some of the people you've become close to. What kind of people would you say are drawn to your company or vise versa?
I think I attract the sweet types of people, often people with self-esteem issues, often the introverted type. People with all those traits get really attached to me, often really fast. XD Like Moony and MTM. They literally hang on me most of the time, and I don't know what I did. My blunt and honest personality also means people come to me for advice a lot. I'll usually just say what I mean and they know that. ;)

31. Which do you find yourself listening to more: popular, mainstream music that people recognize or indie and unknown bands that haven't hit it big yet?
It's just about even, really. But my favorites are always the ones not many people have heard of. And some popular songs I can't STAND and it's really just because they're popular. I get irritated by the same thing over and over again, so the radio is sometimes NOT Mascii's friend.

32. How many songs are on your most commonly-used music player? (As in itunes, mp3 player, ipod, etc..)
My laptop is still dead so I can't access my itunes, which a looong time ago(and before several new CDs of music) had over 1500 something I think. Now I only have the stuff that happened to be on my mp3, which yesterday was 673. LOL I remembered the number! XD

33. How would you describe your 'style'?
My current style is whatever clothes I happen to fit from the garbage bags of clothes we get once in awhile. Not many jeans, man. Not many jeans. But my style of choice is lots of dark blue and black, mostly jeans, long t-shirts and recently I've fallen in love with black and white stripes. : D I saw this jacket in walmart that looked really awesome with grey and black stripes with a skull on the front. It was awwwwesome.

34. Where do you see yourself in ten years? What kind of things would you like to accomplish?
Hm...ten years. Man, I'll be old then! XD LOL I kid. I'll probably have my sister and my sisterfriend(Moony) living with me because they're dependent and all that jazz. Hopefully in a little hobbit hole on property we own. Dream-wise, I want to be successful. In whatever I do. Successful not in a money way, but in a 'I'm doing what I love and I'm good at it and it supports my lifestyle' kind of way. As far as accomplish, I want to graduate college, buy a motorcycle and know how to ride it, and to visit Cornerstone. And go to lotsa more concerts. : D

35. Tell a personal story of yours, be it funny, sad, or just self-descriptive to you.
When MTM was born my mom had to have a C section, because the umbilical cord was wrapped around MTM's neck in a dangerous way. A couple of days later, my mom was lying in bed and my brother and I were playing in the front room. We had this glass door that only locked on the inside, so when my dad went to work, he couldn't lock the door. My mother came out later and I was gone, my brother was playing quietly in the front room, and I was nowhere to be found. Turns out I'd opened the door, gone out into the rain wearing only a diaper(this stuff says a lot about me), by myself went down the street, ACROSS the street, and had snuck into a neighbor's garage to play with their power wheel toys. The garage door was opened up just enough to crawl into. So my mom, recovering from being sliced open a few days before, had to kneel down on the ground and try everything she knew to convince me to come out. Threats, pleas, etc. Only thing that worked was for her to say, 'Oh! Look at that!' and when I peered out she snatched me up and took me home. XD LOL. Mom tells this story all the time now. There's also the time MTM and I made it 'snow' inside using huge sacks full of sugar and flour. Lovely fun to clean up, BTW.(And I wonder who was the genius that had that idea? Hm....)

36. Anyone ever call you 'emo'? (What was/would be your reaction to that?)
Not yet. Though MTM always says my music is all emo. She browses my mp3 and says, "There's no happy music on here at ALL!" And then we debate on whether "True Light" from DNAngel is a happy song or just slightly optimistic. XD

37. What is the silliest/strangest thing you've done for the sake of drama/your emotions?
Making myself cry so I'd have tearstains on my diary pages. I was a weird kid. XD

38. What is your drink of choice?
Mountain Dew or apple juice. All the way.

39. Your favorite character(s) and why?
OOoooh snap. It's harder to answer these than make them up. SO MANY AWESOME CHARRIES COME TO MIND. Hm...Erik, from POTO. Because he's such an intriguing and complex character. The different levels to his behaviour, his motives, his ideas, how such a mind worked, they all intrigue me waaaay more than the mask, or the face beneath it, or even the voice. Then there's Viola from Twelfth Night. She's so quirky and awesome and stuff. Plus, her motives are never QUITE clear as crystal, you know. Momo/Takeshi, from the drama Kimi Wa Petto. Not only is this guy hilariously child-like, easy to please and very in tune with his humorous side, but there's a deeper level to him that you only get to delve into at the end of the series. To be honest, in a very weird way he inspired Yukito. I wanted a character that had different levels but somehow kept himself simplistic. Though Yukito and Momo/Takeshi are VERY different, when you look into it. Beast, from Beauty and the Beast. Same as with Erik, there's so much more to his character than just the current issues they deal with. His motives and dreams even before the story begins are just so untouched upon, that I'm amazed and giddy whenever I hear/see anything about their past.

KK done now, though I have a whole bunch, really.

40. Okay, I'd like you to name off some of your closest friends, and list off a couple of things you really love about them:

Ack. I could make this take forever, so I will only list my closest CLOSEST. If you don't see your name don't feel bad. I may have a present for you when your bday comes around that will make you smile. Let me know when that is, BTW.

MTM: I love her obsessiveness, just as much as I'm irritated by them. She always done everything dramatically - she either hates or loves, she either does it all or doesn't do any, and she always does WHAT she does with all her heart. Plus, she's pretty and attached to me at the hip. I have to admit that makes her very adorable. ;)

Moony: Gosh, Moony thinks she's depressing, but she's so not. Not only does she challenge my auto-pyschiatrist and always keep me thinking about things in different ways, but she's so sweet and kind-hearted. And not in that old-lady kind of way. In the way that she genuinely cares, and she lets you know that. Her selflessness can be a bit irritating to ME, since I'm very....well, I guess I am selfish, but no matter. Most of the time though it just endears her to you.

GG: I can't wait until I meet this chick in RL. Even if I irritate the heck out of her with my huggy-glompness and my tendency to overwhelm or not take part at all, I love her to bits and pieces. She's really smart and witty, is the only person I know who loves books MORE than I do, has freaking awesome tastes in music, and is generally amazing. Sometimes she's predictable when it comes to denying her talents and especially in love, but that only makes her more adorable. ;)

Deesan: She's one of my role models, really. She's going to school doing what she loves even if it's in a field that can tear down one's self-image to itty bitty shreds. She keeps going even when things get really, really rough for her. She's got a lot going for her, but a lot going against her, too. Her hopeless-romantic love life is heart-wrenching to me and the type of thing you always want to write about in a beautiful way, to do it justice. She's talented and determined to show people that, and even if she disappoints herself, she hasn't disappointed ME yet in any way. Dee's influence has helped calm me down when I started over-thinking major things in my life and reassured me when I started to stress for no reason, and she was there with suggestions and tips.

Plus, she does OPERA, yo. That wins, like, a million bajillion cool points.

Though I still want those black and white striped leggings/tights things she got. 0.0 Me waaaaant.

YAY FOR DOING YOUR OWN MEMES! I AREZ DORKY!

A Mascii Meme

2008-11-13T22:28:48Z

Because I love to torture you meme-addicts so.

These are basically questions I've always wanted to ask all my friends but I always forget before I get a chance to, or I can't find a non-random way to ask after I overkill my randomness points for the day. Do it if you want, don't if you don't.

[Y/N SECTION]

1. Have you done more than four memes in the last two months?

2. Have you ever screamed into your pillow?

3. Have you walked in the rain alone?

4. Been laughed at for using a long or uncommon word?

5. Own a cell phone?

6. Like your current hairstyle?

7. Happy with your handwriting?

8. Play one or more instruments proficiently?

9. Been on LJ for more than a year?

10. Snorted while laughing?

11. Waiting for "The One"?

12. Have you ever held a friend as they cried?

13. Can you do HTML, or CSS?

14. Know without looking them up what those last two acronyms stand for?

15. Ever sang in the store under your breath?

16. Knit or crochet?

17. Do you give people 'points'? As in, cool points or nerd points or sarcasm points?

18. Do you know a person who REALLY annoys you but you can't find a way to get rid of them?

19. Ever find yourself overthinking things?

20. Know an entire song in another language that you could sing right now?

21. Have an article of clothing that makes you feel good just wearing?

22. Like being touched?

23. Do you think you are beautiful/pretty/handsome?

24. Do you regularly exercise in some form?

25. Use some sort of cleaner/anti-acne cream?

[QUESTIONNAIRE SECTION]

26. What is/are your religion/beliefs? (As lengthy as you like)

27. What is the most attractive feature on a person to you?

28. What languages do you speak and how fluently?

29. Coolest video game(s) ever?

30. Look at some of the people you've become close to. What kind of people would you say are drawn to your company or vise versa?

31. Which do you find yourself listening to more: popular, mainstream music that people recognize or indie and unknown bands that haven't hit it big yet?

32. How many songs are on your most commonly-used music player? (As in itunes, mp3 player, ipod, etc..)

33. How would you describe your 'style'?

34. Where do you see yourself in ten years? What kind of things would you like to accomplish?

35. Tell a personal story of yours, be it funny, sad, or just self-descriptive to you.

36. Anyone ever call you 'emo'? (What was/would be your reaction to that?)

37. What is the silliest/strangest thing you've done for the sake of drama/your emotions?
(For instance, mine was making myself cry so I'd have tearstains on my diary pages. I was a weird kid. XD)

38. What is your drink of choice?

39. Your favorite character(s) and why?

40. Okay, I'd like you to name off some of your closest friends, and list off a couple of things you really love about them:

Bloodstains on polished stone - The lost dead boy seeks the cold sunrise...

2008-11-05T20:29:47Z

Admit it. You're all digging my 'lame attempts at poetic phrases' titles. Yeahyeahyeah?

Okays. Fifth day of November. First day of my NaNoWriMo attempt. *crosses fingers* Wish me luck!

Just wanted to make this mental note so I can't get out of it later, you know?

I woke up at 8:30 this morning(early for me, okay?! So shutup. :'( ) because I couldn't sleep. I haven't been sleeping well at all, lately. I wake up every couple of hours and keep tossing and turning, and nowhere feels comfortable. Can't remember my dreams, but they aren't troubled or anything - just the normal freakish randomness I always have. So I decided to get off my procrastinating butt and start NaNoWriMo this year. I talked to Yumichan(my eldest cousin) and asked her what I should write about. Of course, knowing her, she says a romance.

I decided, for the sake of kicks, giggles and ninja tacos, I'll use Yukito as a main charrie, thereby making this story modernday. Yumi made me stop and laugh so hard I fell over when she said to make it Victorian, and have Yukito wearing a tux, walking down the street on the way to church. I mean, really. There are so many things awkward with that mental image. XD Yukito in a tux...

Which reminds me. I need an outfit for him for that masquerade at BR. I want him to do something TOTALLY out of his norm and wear something snazzy, formal and freaking awesome. Any suggestions? : D

Okay, so modern day romance with Yukito. At first I considered pairing him off with my other OC, Katie Truesgale, because she's happy and bouncy and hilarious. But then, it's awkward pairing off your charries with your charries, and it's just not as much a fun idea for Katie/Yukito as it is with Erin/Yukito. So GG and I decided to 'borrow' each other's charries. Hope I can pull off Erin with as much awesomeness as mah own personal Hermoine Sushi Awesomeness!

Alrighty, so since it's the fifth day, I divided 50k by 25 days,and that means I have to do 2,000 words a day to make it(plus any additional fluff I can add in, etc etc). This morning, I had a real rough time. With distractions coming easily, no muse, and too early for music, I sat for three hours and had less than 500 words. X.X Meh. Had to take a break and help open the yarn shop, then I just got back to it around... 12:30-1:00?

I said to myself then, "Self?"

"Mmmph?" I mumbled back grumpily.

"I need some freaking MUSE."

"Alright, alright. Whatever."

Self turned on some Nightwish.

BOOM. LIKE GREASED LIGHTNING. I'M AT 1515 WORDS. THIS IS AWESOME.

And this is still adding lotsa distractions, plot holes, and forcing myself to stick to simple sentences(hence: my average of 20 words per sentence needs to be brought down. I'm not Jane Austen, and I can't let myself write confusing paragraphs). Badda bing. Maybe, just maybe, I can do this.

Erin and Yukito actually aren't in the story yet, too. It's Katie/Daniel fluff! ZOMIGOSH NO WAI!

YES WAAAAI.

TOTALLY.

Wish your Mascii luck with NaNoWriMo! It makes her happy to see 1515 words on a page! Kyuuuu!

Edit @ 2:50 pm: OVER 2000!! W00T KAW00T! *punches air*

JIIIIIIIIIIIII.........

2008-10-30T18:55:57Z

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
maskednicci goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Dark Mousy.
ggj5 gives you 8 red-orange apple-flavoured gummy bats.
glitterite gives you 1 light blue grapefruit-flavoured gummy bats.
hanashigenki tricks you! You lose 7 pieces of candy!
issie_chan gives you 11 light orange lemon-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
more_than_music gives you 16 red-orange grape-flavoured jawbreakers.
muted_clamour tricks you! You get a dead frog.
sandyra_kay tricks you! You lose 24 pieces of candy!
shiimall gives you 4 tan apple-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
theatregeek_393 gives you 15 light blue tropical-flavoured gummy bats.
wing_of_fancy tricks you! You get a clothespin.
maskednicci ends up with 24 pieces of candy, a dead frog, and a clothespin.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

LOL...my friends are so nice.

Yeah. I dress up as Dark Mousy. OWNED, I TELL YOU. OOOOOOOOWNED!

And I will get uber wings. Somehow, some way.

*gives Chelly, Gnomie, Senpai, and Whiskii a sharp jab in the ribs*

Meanie-heads! *poke poke poke*

....Figures Leelee would give me a dead frog. XD

Vehicles of insanity making circles on the sidewalk - You can't control what you don't know...

2008-10-30T18:00:45Z

Tuesday night: Busy as a bumblebee. Mom went to give blood plasma locally, 40 bucks a whack, up to twice a week. Was gone four hours.

At 7:10 we're sitting down to eat Omeegachan's potato soup and watch Matilda(great book, good movie), when Gramma calls. Apparently I was supposed to go to an elderly friend's house to spend the night. She just had knee replacement surgery. Mom and I(was that right, GG?) talked about me going to stay with her, with one of my sisters along for the ride, but there was no dates talked about. Now Gramma says I was supposed to BE at her house at 7. Lovely, mom. I wish you would have planned it with me, talked to me about it. I hear it was last minute, but could you have taken two minutes to call me up and tell me about it? I was with you ALL morning, and you didn't leave the house until after four. Two minutes, mom. It would have prepared me better than begging dad to let Omeegachan come with me, slurping up some potato soup(dumplings, yum) and grabbing a walmart bag of clothes and skeetering out the door. We went so fast, Omeegachan ended up wearing her slippers to the lady's house. Wowzah.

Her house is GORGEOUS, guys. Think a small, heart-warming little house in the midst of really pretty Victorian-esque houses. She has thousands of knick knacks and pretties laying around. White lacy dresses, old pictures, paintings, Victorian couches and polished wood tables. Little plaques and cross stitched blankets with cheesy sayings on them, and gleaming tea sets sitting out for your visual enjoyment. She didn't need much help, it was mostly for company, but I loooved looking around that house. She talked about it being a mess and disorganized, but I told her how beautiful it all was. It was my dream house.

Dream for a good cause. I'm a bit of klutz, if you hadn't noticed. I know why chicks acted so delicate in the Victorian times - they didn't want to break everything. Omeegachan spoke three times more quietly in that house, I could barely hear her. I walked gently as possible, and was careful not to get anything caught on my sleeve. I did end up knocking a couple of things over, but mostly pillows and stuff, luckily.

Her beds are really high off the ground, by the way. About twice as high as most 'normal' beds today. Omeegachan had to hop and crawl up. XD I offered her my knee as a footstool, and she pouted at me. I set my phone up across the hall on the kitchen counter, crawled in, and turned off the light. Omeegachan kept shifting around and making the bed squeak. Verah annoying. Just hold still and sleep, chica!

Woke up at eight o'clock to my alarm. "Innocent Sorrow" sang out, and I leapt out of bed to turn it off before it woke everyone else up. Bad idea. I was wearing socks, it was a very polished(hence: slippery) floor, and it was a long way down. I ended up slipping, catching myself on a chair that bounced against the wall and sent a picture down....on my pile of clothes. Phew...nothing broken. Thank goodness. The lady was already up and she smiled at me, asking if I was alright. Tried to turn it into a joke and spent the next half hour muttering about my accident-proneness under my breath.

Wednesday morning: Made bacon and eggs for breakfast, then set up in the 'family room' with her and we all watched TV together. It was fun chattering to her about stuff, and it didnt' take much prompting to get her to go on and on about all the knick knacks in her house and the stories behind them. It reminded me of my great-grandmother, guys. Which makes me love the trip even more.

And jeez, that lady is fast in her little walker thing. She just had her knee replaced, but she's still spry and VERY happy. She's one of those extremely happy people that you just can't depress if you try.

The news that morning was talking about the Japanese Yen compared to the American Dollar. Every time the word 'Japan' or 'Yen' was spoken, Omeegachan looked up from her writing, all eager. It was hilarious. Her head kept bobbing up and down. I just tried to follow the economy talk. Best get information while I can. It's starting to make sense. Personally, I think the powers-that-be in our country and trying to make the dollar break as fast as possible, so we can go into a recession and fix our economy's currency and debt issues. *shrug*

Got back home - had to have her sister drop us off two hours after our scheduled pick up time. Cell phones didn't work and no one could get ahold of mom. Turned out she was sleeping, with a bad headache. Hadn't even noticed no one had called or anything. X.X We lounged around as mom said we had to get the whole placed packed up. My neck was sore, must've slept on it wrong, so I didn't want to do anything. Finally took one 200mg ibuprofen around three o'clock. Around five we were done running errands, phones were working again, and our cousins came over to help us pack. We worked until after eleven, but we are nearly packed out of our house. We've decided to move into the garage at the pack of the shop until the building at the property is ready. Mostly because dad can't afford the rent at our old house, and the lease is up at the start of next month. Landlord is showing the house Friday already, so we have to be out of there by then. We moved 70% of our house in one night, guys. Wowzah, we can be so awesome. *does a happy L dance* Hidekikun and I slept one more night at the house, hoping to watch DNAngel in peace, but no such luck - the only compy in the house didn't have Realplayer, which is required to play rmvb files. Dad and mom slept at the shop, all the rest of the girls spent the night at our cousins'. Busybusybees. We'll wrap up a few things tonight that need to be in teh back of the shop. No idea how long we'll be staying here, but at least it has internet, and it's better than sleeping next to the river in the van, I say. Our family goes through tight spots, but we always pull through.

This weekend we may be camping at the property. If it's too cold we'll borrow a trailer to sleep in, but mom really wants a better idea of where the water runs and such, and to really get a feel for the land before we build. So that's cool.

Yes, GG. We're camping in November, when we're happy because the forecast says it'll be in the 60's-70's. During the day. Because we're either goofy n00bs or too hardcore for everyone else's logic. XD Just goes to show how eager our family is to get some actual land that we OWN, yar?

I think I'm done. w00t kaw00t it's been hectic, but I still plan on making beautiful plot bunnies with all of you guys. : D AND I MISSAH JOO ALL!

I should have known it all along....a sweet sacrifice for the love I once knew..

2008-10-23T18:40:45Z

This week, I used a slightly organized method of remembering things I wanted to tell you dudes.

MTM's book: She got her computer working again and spent a couple hours the other day working on her novella, and she asked me to help her with it. I took a chance and actually pointed out some problem areas, awkward sentences, etc. My most repetitive instruction was to expand the scenes. I can tell by her writing style that she sees her stories in a film-like form in her mind, so she goes AT that pace. The trick is to get her to pause that film, write down in detail the entire frame, then continue. It was fun. Hee...

Moving: We're moving again, hopefully for the last time. We found 21 acres of property and are planning on building houses for our five families(our 'community) and we'll all live there together, be self-sustaining, and awesomely settled down at last. There's a lot of debating and discussion and such going on, and it's all pretty exciting. Man, mom and I counted up how many full-out moves we've done since she and dad were together 20 years ago, and this will be the 21st time. Yipes. That's averaged out to once a year. The longest we've lived anywhere was four years, and the second-longest was two and a half years. So yeah, that means a few places we've lived less than a year. I don't know how many times I've signed up for girl scouts, cheerleading, ballet, 4H, etc....those kinds of groups, and then ended up moving before I got to take part in any of it. It's disappointing, to say the least, but I think I've become used to it. And hopefully, this is the last time! *crosses fingers*

I took an opportunity and recorded all my 'better' original songs and recorded them on my mp3, put them on the computer and titled and arranged them into a little album sort of thing. The quality is horrible, with popping noises when the piano or vocals get too loud, but it's something. So yay. *punches air* I called the album, "Amber Street At Midnight" and the artist, "This Romantic Storm". Basically both are random things that popped into my head. And freaking Bilbo's toes....I played my original draft for Amber Street At Midnight, the song? AAAAHH. It was dull and horrible, the lyrics sucked and there was absolutely no structure. I should send you guys some of the recordings so you guys can hear the new version. It's not my final draft, but it's mucho better.

Album Song List, Draft...four something?
1. Overture/Bells
2. Rebellion
3. My Precious
4. Amber Street At Midnight
5. Fake Blue Eyes
6. Ryuuzaki
7. Unshed Tears

Man, it's weird looking at that list and knowing all the inspirations for it. Some are obvious...others, I'd hope not so much... :)

BTW, GG -- that job for my aunt seems to be working out. I get 50 bucks a week, doing calls. Hopefully it'll continue to give me at least a little income.

Beth: You know that personal escort of cuteness I have? The youngest girl of my mother's friend?(woah confusing there, Masciisan) Well, she has fallen in love with my L tshirt now. Every day she comes over, she crawls into my lap, and looks up with her big eyes to see if I'm wearing it. If I'm not, she gets all pouty and says she wishes I would have worn my L-shirt...XD If I do, she giggles and says with glee, "Hey! You awe weawing your L shirt!" And she promptly pokes a very serious-looking L in the face. XD LOLOLOL... Aaaand I'm teaching everybody Japanese. Like, everybody. My grandma thinks, "Ohayu!" is the word for everything, and my dad constantly says, "Mushi mushi" instead of "Moshi moshi", and uses THAT for everything. Mom says teenagers are hard enough to understand in their native language, and could we all please speak it. The little kids have sheets of vocabulary words. Haha...And Beth says, 'Daisuki!' in a really cute way that always makes Moony and MTM spazz out from the cuteness, and I give her new words to say with equal adorabality. Haha

Went on my first hay ride this week with Beth and her family, and THEIR church family. 40 something people went, including us. Wowzah. We sat on hay and stared at cows. It was really chilly, so I brought my trenchcoat as well as my favorite sweaterjacketthing. Yar. We were gone for about four hours, I think. Most of the kids jumped out to crawl on this huge fort of hay bales for awhile, and one chick picked one up and held it over her head(they're like 50-60 pounds, the dude says, depending). Then we went to the huge round hay bales(I dunno what they're called) and I got Beth's mom to come and jump with me on them. They were set up in rows, with large gaps in between the rows, and were about five feet high. The first time she jumped across a gap, she fell. Haha...And she was laughing so hard my bro and I had to help her get back up. It's fun, jumping across those gaps. Dunno why, but something about jumping hay bales was very entertaining.

Most of the hay ride Beth sat in teh lap of one of the girls from her church. I told her mom that I wish she'd sit in MY lap, and she laughed and said, "Oooh...is someone feeling jealous?" I made a pouty face and said, "Pffft! YES!" And when Beth finally came to sit in my lap I huggled her and muttered, "Miiine..." and she giggled and said, "Heheee! Now I'm YOURS!"

After the hayride everyone kind of bundled in the main guy's tiny house, and they had dinner. Hotdogs and only very spicy chips and stuff. At first I hesitated(it was a weird person's house I'd never met before. Even I hesitate to skeef foods) until Beth's mom started sticking food in my mouth at random points. Eggsalad sandwiches, these cookie things...

And they had fruits sitting out. I went all happy-faced.

STRAWBERRIES. AND APPLES. AND GRAPES. OHHHHHH LALA!

Mascii <3's her fruits. Very muchly. Anyways, I finally made sure all us kids had gotten plates and snatched myself up something to eat.
Annnnd....there was a piano there! w00t w00t! I have this thing where I hone in on any piano I'm closest to.

Annnnd...there was a long line for the only bathroom. By the time I got in there the toilet paper was gone. X_X Am I the only one who wouldn't have hesitated to dig through the drawers and stuff until I found the toilet paper? Well, I neeeeeded to go. So I found it. It wasn't like I was taking out family heirlooms or using their toothbrushes or anything, right? It was in the closet, BTW. Kthnxbai.

All in all a fun evening. W000t kaw00t.

ALSO. At the homeschool group thingy, there's a huge piano in the main sanctuary that's been calling my name for weeks now. IT'S A GRAND PIANO. AND IT'S SHINY AND GORGEOUS. MUUUUST TOUCH ITTTT...

So last week after classes I snuck in there, MTM following me going, "Ryuuuuuuuzakiiiii! Where are you gooooinng!" and I started playing my original songs on that hot instrument.

OOOOoh it was awesome. The notes just FLOWED into each other gorgeously, the touch wasn't rough like Beth's mom's piano, and it wasn't at all plinky or awkward. It was freaking awesome.

Some dude came up(holding a munchkin) while I was playing and applauded me. I'd guess he was about 11, 12, 13 -ish...and he asked me how I learned to, "do that". I said I'd taught myself piano for about seven years now, and he asked me about the black keys and stuff, and then said he was going to "help me play", so he started tapping on the high keys while I continued playing. Eventually he stopped(thank goodness. He was interrupting my song muse) and he left.
Theeeen the lady in charge of the homeschool thing came up and said I'd have to stop playing. I apologized and tried to explain in a non-weird way my obsession with touching pianos, and she seemed to understand. Said they'd had a grand piano once, too, but they didn't use it enough so they'd had to sell it.(This I don't understand. WHY!?)

Mom says I shouldn't have played the piano without asking first.
She also said the dude who asked about my playing was flirting with me, even though she wasn't there. X.x Mom's automatic answer when it comes to a guy talking to me is that he's flirting with me. Sheesh...I'm pretty sure the times when I KNOW the guy(s) is flirting, it's been because the friend I'm with drew them over. It's just LIKE that. It gets confusing to explain, but there have been a couple of occasions when a guy came up and started chitchatting or something, but it's always been when a friend of mine is with me, someone I know who attracts guys alot. By myself, I think I kind of scare them. No, really. Especially with my 'quiet-but-suddenly-very-non-hesitant' attitude. I kind of pop out and start talking business, that's my way. Mwhaha...and MTM thinks of me in a biased light. VERY.

AAAAAND...I think that's all. Found a couple new bands - Deas Vail is awesome so far, caught me on the first song...and I have a bunch of tests this week that could alter my life enormously, so wish me luck!

maskednicci @ 2008-09-30T02:57:00

2008-09-30T08:39:51Z

Okies...so I tried avoiding this subject on my LJ because it sounds like your typical LJ rant and ramble, but... my aunt dropped the EPO on herself a few weeks ago so she could talk to him about some unpaid bills in their old house. Started innocently enough, though your Mascii had ominous feelings. Now she had him change the oil in her car, and she goes to visit him more and more with each passing week. Tonight he 'made an apple pie' when he doesn't even like it, and asked if she'd come eat it. X_X Of course, she leaves the kids. EPO is still on them, and he can't get near them. If she's caught taking the kids to see him, the kids'll be taken away from both of them.

So, Mascii is getting increasingly irritated, but she says nothing because she doesn't know how. Recently the boys started talking more about their dad(kinda funny, eh? It's been over two months, maybe three now, I dunno, but they didn't miss him at all this whole time), and asking to see him. Mom says that we don't have to worry, the court won't drop the EPO on those kids even if she asked. And even if he 'breaks down crying' and says that it's 'tearing him up' to be away from them.

But Mascii still worries. She knows her aunt's type, and they're more forgiving than Mascii thinks she will ever be. Yumichan is dead set against the whole thing. She doesn't wants anything to do with her father, and anytime he is brought up in conversation she insults him. Being the oldest, she had to sit there and watch the situation play out and remain helpless and powerless. When Aunt mentioned the EPO, Yumichan adamantly stated she didn't want the EPO dropped on her and if he came back she was going to 'pack up her stuff and move out'. Wowzah, Yumichan. I am spending the night here because Aunt has a court order in the morn to check up on things, etc. And I'm babysitting. I told Yumichan when I had a minute alone with her that she could come live with us if she 'needed to'. She nodded and said she knew.

.
.
.

Things are getting more complicated, I think. But we'll see how it goes.

For the record, you guys, the majority of the munchkins that hang out at our house think MTM is cooler than me. X_X Well, fine then. Just because I don't blare Arashi over the speakers doesn't mean I can't be awesome. I keep getting complaints when I play my mp3 player over the speaker system. These kids just hate change, methinks. No new music...even Pillar and L'Arc en Ciel, my current top picks! Flyleaf I can't play because mom says she sounds 'moany and depressed'. *sigh*

When Moonychan visited last weekend she mentioned that she hadn't heard any female vocalists that do screams. I arched an eyebrow and handed her some Flyleaf. :D Dunno if she liked it or not, but it's worth sharing, IMO. My fave is 'Fully Alive' and 'Sorrow' by them, methinks. Anyways, had some fun with her this weekend. Drew some comics, drank some Dew. I acted like a dork and she laughed. The stuff we do every weekend. But somehow I continue to amuse her enough that she keeps coming over. I guess I just have that clown-type of talent. I notice most of my 'friends'(including and mostly online) generally think of me as 'that funny dork'. Yeah, you know who you are. Screw heavy discussion, you just chatter with me because I'm a teen that sometimes acts like an ADD six year old with one too many spoonfuls of pure sugar.

L'Arc en Ciel's music videos pwn the world. XD There's this one with little chibi drawings of the band members in it! AND THEY'RE SOOOOO KAWAIII! :D

Holding a cuteness contest between some of the more adorable munchkins, including teh one that adores me.(note:ONE. And even she ditches me when Moony, who is of super-cool, comes over) It's fun. Oh, so fun.

Our family is talking about moving again. Our house is huge and awesome, but it's expensiiiive...and we can't afford it. So they're talking about how, if the economy goes caput and the US goes topsy turvy, they wanna be self-sufficient. So we're gonna try to build our own house on our own land. W00t w00t. This means some weeks in a tiny trailer then moving to a tiny house, but whatev. I can stand it. Means I have a good excuse to hang out in the rain more. "But there's no roooom insiiiiide! :DDDD"
When I brought up the topic of 'how are we gonna fit my piano in this plan?' Dad said that the piano had 'become a vital part of our lives, and we'll make room for it'. I could shed a tear. :'D I've made the piano a part of my family's lives. YES! Making music important to people who don't really seem to care.

BTW. Working on my poetry. Might post of my stuff here if anyone wants it and/or if I stop being extremely lazy.

Ehhh....my mother is funny sometimes. Awesome as all get out and cool, etc. But she tends to put all her efforts into BEGINNINGS, rather than ENDINGS. Maybe that's where I inherited it. *shrug* Could be a detriment to my abilities, but perhaps I could amend it.

Ohohoh! Leelee...we're on episode 5 of D.N.Angel now. I lahves it! XD Niwokun is verah, verah adorable. And Darksan is awesome and has freaking amazing hair. : DDD

Mascii loves hair. Sooo much.

My brother, Hidekikun, is watching it with me, and he doesn't seem psyched about it. The Unicorn episode threw him off, and he almost stopped just cuz of that. X_X But he'll watch Lucky Star! Weirdo.....

Basic Japanese phrases have become part of my life now. The whole family uses, "Konnichiwa", "O genki desu ka?", "tadaima", "okaeri nasai", "moshi moshi", and such daily. Leelee...you have any random common phrases to teach Mascii? : DD It won't be too long, though, until I'm taking classes in Jap. W00t w00t! I'm so happy about that. But it'll be awhile yet...*sigh*

Ack. Better go. It's 3:20 and I need to be watching kids at seven A.M. x_x Plus I don't want my Aunt to realize that when I say "I'm a night-owl" I really, really mean it. The kids' bedtimes are 10 o'clock....

Homeschool thingy: Is going okay. My sanding is awesome after those yarn shop shelves(soooo bigg...sooo much sanding...) but my free hand cuts with a jigsaw are...less than amazing...X_X I noticed this week more of the other teens are actually...talking to me...So that's weird. I'm just standing there and they'll say something to me, or they'll ask me what time it is. I'm sure none of them can remember my name, or they might talk to me more. Despite my name being in the top ten most popular EVER, no one gets my name right. My close relatives call me by other people's names. One chick kept asking about my progress on my CD rack I'm making. Chatted a lil with her, guess I did okay with smalltalk. Not very experienced with that, to be honest. Yes. I know you're all thinking I'm exaggerating that. But really, the internet has been the place I'm most verbal. Usually I don't chatter at family gatherings, and I don't say a lot excessively. Mostly because there's so many other peeps talking, I find other things to do. Oh, and one of the guys is making a CD rack, too. Once in awhile I peer over to see if he's as confused as I am. Once or twice he asked teach a question I had been wondering a few mins prior. I'm a il ahead of him though, I think. Even though mine were the only pieces not cut this week. There's only one saw, so teach said we'd measure and she'd cut. Mine was the only wood she didn't get to. X_X Mascii luck right dar. So I cut mine and then got to chiseling out the pieces. Had to track down teach and ask her where the chisel was, and she was kinda short with me, and I just went to my corner and chiseled away, figuring it out as I go. After I was done, the guy with the other CD rack asked to use my chisel. I went over to see how Yumichan and MTM were doing, and he followed me and asked how to use the chisel. Teach doesn't explain things, really. X_X I said, "You have to hit it with a hammer on the top," and kinda demonstrated with my hands. It's just like in the movies, really. And easier to hit than you'd think. He thanked me and skeetered off, and as he walked away Yumichan looked up and did an annoying, "OOooOOoOOOOoh" sound. And she tried to tease me about "talking to BOYS!".

x_x That goof of a girl. Talking to guys about chisels doesn't count as flirting. Unless you're very perverted.

In speaking of males... XD

Friends of mine who have given me boy rants:
- MTM
- Moonychan
- Deesenpai
- GG
- KC
- Poppy

Friends of mine who have NOT given me boy rants:
- Yumichan
- Leelee(methinks...? Not positive. O_o)
- Plus the odd ends of 'friend-ish acquaintances' I only knew long enough to feel bad when I forgot their names.

Mascii's current acquired EXP on boys: -29.

Critical hit.

Mascii is down for the count! Quick! Use a Revive spell or something!

All topics are marked with a handy dandy "-" sign! Yaaay!

2008-09-23T23:02:06Z

- Finally watched Becoming Jane last night! Got all happy inside at the tidbits of her novels-to-be I saw in her 'life', plus I knew a lot of the actors, and plus...YAY PATRICK! SO ADORABLE! XD Yeah. Some of you get it. Some of you don't.

- My compy is still out, because even though the loverly GG sent me monies, mom says amazon only sells the power cord I need to $100. And MTM's compy is out because she's doing massive triple quadruple bipass surgery on it or something. It's guts are all over her desk. AND internet is down at our house because we couldn't pay the bill. X_X You should all be surprised Mascii is posting at all. She's at shop snagging her mom's compy when she should be doing math.

- Went through ALL my stuff. There's only five or six shoebox-sized boxes worth, really, not including a big box of all my clothes(and a piano of course. XD) but it's all cleaned up and organized now, so yay. I didn't realize how many pencils and pens I had. O.o Mascii has had a habit for years now, when she sees a forgotten pencil or pen, she picks it up and keeps it. Because pencils get eaten around here by nargles, you see. So when someone needs a pencil, Mascii has one. Always. XD I had a huge drawerful, yarly. Gave some away cuz they had no eraser left, and kept some sharpeners and stuffed them in my ugly bag purse thingy. So w00t w00t. I arez prepared for anything.

- Which, btw...we're going to the homeschooler's group now. It's just Friday mornings, and we only have two classes, but meh. I have woodshop and Career Class, the former I'm making a CD rack in. Yumichan and MTM are making picnic tables. X_X I chose something small, only one load of little wood, so I spend half the class lugging around THEIR 10 ft pieces. Brilliant. But it's fun when I get to cut things. Mwhahaha. First week we were there we were short on pencils, so I pulled four or five out of my bag(see? Told ya), and as usual, people send me shocked looks and go, "wow, cool." then we were short on rulers as we were practicing measuring out certain lengths, so I pulled my handy dandy ruler out of my bag. That got a few stares, and one proclamation of, "You have EVERYTHING in that bag, don't you?" I laughed and said that I was a wannabe writer, of course I should have THOSE in my bag. <_< So, yeah, Mascii is odd sometimes. Career Class is basically a small synopsis of a career we pull out of a hat. First week we got to choose what career we would talk about. I chose Psychology. : DD Then I did Mortician. O.o This week I have Park Ranger.

I get the strangest careers in this class....

- Got my bro to listen to Flyleaf and some Nightwish yesterday. We were sitting in the car on our way to visit my great-grandfather in the hospital, since he just got pretty sick, and he was sitting next to me. Per usual, I offered one earbud to my comrade(couldn't offer it to MTM, because she is grounded from EVERYTHING right now. *weeps*), and he actually accepted it. Listened to Ghost Love Score, Creek Mary's Blood, Cassie, Fully Alive, the acoustic versions of the last two, and...um...there was one other Nightwish song. That and Innocent Sorrow, because I looooooove that song to pieces. :D He didn't seem keen on it, but when I asked if he wanted to listen to something else he just muttered that he didn't care, he was up for anything, really. My bro can be cool on occasion, I will readily admit, but when it comes to music I just don't understand him at all. X_X

- Okies, so MTM being grounded. She made some eggrolls the other night, and I didn't get one. So she turned the deepfryer on and pulled a couple out, and I put them in and was cooking them. When I tried to take them out early, she got after me and INSISTED they be left in for 'four minutes'. Ah, well. So I stuck them back in and watched the clock until it struck four minutes past, and pulled them out. Meh. Greasy. It had one of those clippy things on the side so you can let it sit and strain hanging over the grease, but ours is loose, so I stood there holding it, and MTM slapped my shoulder and said something like 'you don't have to stand there like an idiot holding it!' and we started fighting. Because Mascii has some level of patience, but she gets VERY angry when it gets anywhere near physcial violence. I dunno what it is, but hitting/smacking/slapping, really really gets me. I once blindly chased down a little boy and tackled him roughly to the ground because he slapped me on the butt after I warned him not to. Maybe it's the fact that my 'love language' is physical and I can't quite deal with the negative touches? *shrug* That asks for further analysis, IMO. Anyways, on several other occasions I've gotten very angry when I've been even lightly slapped or pushed away, so I kind of exploded on her with an angry tirade, and mom overheard us. She called us in to talk to her and since I was still angry and told her that MTM called me an idiot and hit me. When mom heard that, she grounded MTM from, "mp3 players, computers, television, pianoplaying, drawing, writing, etc etc." basically all she can do is sleep, eat, do chores and school, and stare at a wall. Ouch. I tried to tell mom that she didn't hit me all THAT hard, but mom insisted that this was necessary. Needless to say, MTM was a little sore at me, and still kinda is, but I'm hoping she knows I didn't intend for her to get grounded from everything she enjoys until who knows when. *sigh*

- My great grandfather stayed with us for a few days while my Gramma went to CA, and he's been really uber depressed lately. Staying with us, he got more interaction in one day that he probably has with my Grandmother in a fortnight. *sigh* So he became really chatty and ready to talk to anyone who would listen. For an hour I sat with him as he told me that he didn't feel at peace with God. You see, my Grampie is really religious, in a way. He said that he's done a lot of bad things, and he didn't feel that God could forgive him for them. With my great grandmother seven years now deceased from lung cancer, he's never been the same. He's 80 something now, and he married my Gramie as she was getting out of a really bad relationship with her first husband. They'd been friends for years and found themselves getting closer as her husband became crueler and crueler. She divorced him after having tons of kids with him(think more than half a dozen), and married my Grampie. They really, really loved each other, guys. They'd talked about who would 'go first', and she had said she wanted to, because she couldn't bear to be there after he was gone, especially after the turbulence of her previous relationship. So she died from lung cancer, and Grampie was telling me how he knew she was in heaven because her last words were, "I see my angel coming." So sweet. You can tell from talking to him how much he adored her. She was a real fiesty chickaboom, too. Pretty much made of awesome. X) Anyways, he's been really secluded in his back room all by himself, probably been thinking too hard on things, and he's been talking for some time about being 'doubleminded' and not being able to have true faith and believe. I didn't know how to reassure him, or help him with it really, but I called my dad and he promised to talk to him when he got home. I just listened to him talk, in the meanwhile. When dad got home I had to clean the house up and cook dinner and get the girls doing their schoolwork, etc, so I don't know what he said to him, but knowing my dad, it was along the lines of, "You need to get over it. We all do bad things, we all feel unworthy of the most undeserved of gifts, but that's just it - it's a gift, and you just have to accept it." or something more blunt. XD Anyways, my brother is of the religious sort, too, so he probably jumped in on the convo, too. The next day when he had to go home, Grampie seemed SO much happier. He said he felt like he's at peace now, and that he can really 'feel' the scriptures and God's presence on him. I swear, if the guy didn't have to use a walker, he might have been skipping and dancing out our door. XD

Yeah, well yesterday we went to visit him in the hospital, since it seems he came down with a mild cold or something. It wore him out and he couldn't eat by himself. We stayed at the hospital for about an hour or so, all seven of us. I got my dad to dance in the hallways when I started singing that song from Peter Pan, "we're following the leader, the leader, we're following the leader, wherever he may go! Dee dum...dee dee...a-diddly-dum-dee-day!" Yup. You know it. My family rocks. He seemed cheered up by us coming over, too. Said he was so grateful for all of us, and that he'll feel ready when the time comes. Mom told him that it was 'hard to hold onto him, but also hard to let go', and that we all understood it would be his time if God wanted him.

This morning Gramma came into the shop in tears, saying she'd just talked to the doctor, and apparently Grampie's heart is failing. He had some sort of major heart surgery decades ago, and it hadn't been the best, but now they don't know how long he'll have to live. There's nothing they can do for him. Mom cried a little, and Gramma cried lots, and the girls seemed to kind of understand. I didn't find myself tearful at all, really. I've felt for some time that the only thing that kept Grampie alive for these seven years is his unfinished business with God. He had to come to terms with the dark cloud of guilt over his head or he was just barely hanging on. Now that he feels 'truly at peace', I didn't expect anthing else, to be honest. Isn't that weird of me to feel? But it's the truth, anyways. There's no telling how long it'll be, but I think he's ready. In fact, I think he's been wanting to be with Gramie for a long time now. They're talking about him coming to stay with us now, as long as he can, because there's so many more of us to watch over him at our house(seven sometimes more, compared to her half the time one being). MTM said today that she doesn't think she could stand watching someone else die in front of her, though. All I could think was 'wow...really?'. She was referring to Gramie, of course. Gramie was staying with us when she died. We'll just have to see how it goes, I suppose.

-Um..in other news..I am registered for the necessary tests, m'liege! Still have some paperwork to fill out, but I'm excited/scared songless! XD And I'm going to talk to my aunt about working for her. She does dials, essentially telemarketing. So...yeah...even though Mascii no likey phone work, she'll do it for the good pay. $10 an hour! O_O Ten calls per 'hour', though the calls usually don't take that long from what I hear. Wowzah. A good deal. This means I can continue my studies and stay at home, etc, too. And hopefully save up some money. I was in the shop the other day wearing my 'at home' pants. AKA the only ones left I don't need a belt for, and the ladies all started talk about having a collection to buy me new pants. X_X And for the hundredth time, NO, I don't buy them ripped, nor do I rip them on purpose. I've worn ripped pants for as long as I've worn jeans. I sit with my knees bent %90 percent of the time and I'm not exactly a delicate creature, so I wear my clothes out fast. Like, I should be buying new pants on occasion. But I'm dirt poor at the moment(though I'm working on that), so I can't exactly afford pants. I DON'T BUY THEM RIPPED ALL OVER. I HATE MY KNEES ANYWAYS SO THAT WOULD BE STUPID. KTHNXBAI.

- Math sucks. Bad. I got trinomials down to an art, seriously! But as far as everything else...meeeh...Mascii sucks at math. I just dont' GET IT! I stare at the dull black and white numbers for hours, my mind in a million different places. I can't concentrate on it! I'm TRYING, though!

- Finished watching Fruits Basket with my bro. OOOOOOOh lala that anime is ADORABLE. Though now I wanna read the manga because I hear the ending of that is ten million times cuter. X_X And I'm starting to think my brother is totally into Shoujo....totally. He downloaded the first episode of 'Lucky Star' the other day. If you don't know what that is -- think chibi-looking highschoolers with blue hair and happy faces, all dancing and singing. Yarly. I don't even think that counts as Shoujo, now that I think of it. He just tends to like the girly shows. With pretty girls and boys and all about romance. Then he goes and watches Naruto or Darker Than Black and I get a little freaked out. BY THE WAY I WANNA WATCH DARKER THAN BLACK WITH MAH GG SOMEDAAAAY! YARLY! COOL MASK YAYS?! Okays, so FMA is on hiatus for the moment, mostly because (a) I'm too lazy to prod my bro into watching it again, he's still scarred from the Nina episode, and (b) thar's no internet, yo. D. Grayman I wanna start the anime with MTM once she's off grounding. Because yah, in manga I could coo and smile at the adorableness of Allen Walker as long as I want, but in anime there's more MOTION. So I could SEE the kawaii kid in ACTION. : DDD And DeathNote I'm watching with MTM and Moonychan, so that has to wait. We're alllllmost done! Just one or two more episode binges, and we should be finished. THEN WE WATCH THE MOVIES. MWHAHAHAHAHA.

So what anime to watch with bro now, I wonder? We've watched Chobits and Fruits Basket together, and some FMA. Looking on the internet, I was intrigued by 'D.N.Angel' and 'Fushugi Yugi'(did I get that right?), but really, I just want something family friendly I can watch with my only slightly-in-denial-of-his-sexuality brother. But I'm thinking he was okay with Chobits, he can handle most perversion. XD But see, we may have little munchkins eyes watching over our shoulder, so...yeaaaaah...Does Leelee have any suggestions? : D

- I make long 'catch me up' updates. Yarly.

- Why is everyone making boy rants and rambles lately? It isn't that it irritates me or I'm against it or whatever, but I'm having a harder time listing friends of mine who AREN'T or WEREN'T twitterpaited just recently. X_X Me alone again? Aww....suckage. But I will just dance with myself for now. Mwahahaha.

- NICOLITH! Spent some time this morning writing a short story about Nicolas and Lilith's baby girl, and an emo boy who falls in love with her. cuuuuuuu! Oooh lala! XD

- GAH SO MANY RP POSTS!

- I want to learn to properly 'scream'. I'm sure I could do it well if I tried. Even if my actual vocals aren't very amazing, maybe I can pwn my local Midwest Baptists with my uber screams. XDDDD Flyleaf and D'espairsray FTW?

And I'll prolly think of 24602 more things to LJ about later, but..whatevs. I'm out of M. Dew. So dig it.

AND OMIGOSH I GOT MY PERSONAL ESCORT OF CUTENESS TO TRY ON MY GLASSES! SHES SO CUTE! I GOT A PIC OF HER NOW ON MY PHONE! ^_________^ Kawaii desu!

Another freaking meme....I know.

2008-09-10T09:48:02Z

EMO
[X] you own at least 5 black shirts (I would have some more nice ones if I could afford them...from hand-me-downs and the occasional buy a few times a year, I probably have four or five..)
[/] you like skinny jeans (I once owned a pair that was very comfy. Plus, if it fits right I think it can be flattering to one's figure)
[X] you’re listening to music right now (Tom Lehrer's "National Brotherhood Week". XD Nothing too hardcore since it's 4:12 am....)
[X] you have painted your fingernails black before(They're black right now. I prefer a dark blue though, personally...)
[X] You have more than 300 songs on your ipod/mp3/itunes (haha...more like 1000+ after only a few years of accumulation, and the loss of several albums because I needed more compy space...)
[X] Like the color black(Second fave color)
[/] hate most girly girls(Not hate. They just tend to annoy me with the same subjects. So persistent. X_X)
[/] have dyed ur hair dark(I TRIED...I TRIED.)
[X] sometimes like to be alone(Heck yeah)
[/] hate popular music (Most of it, yeah. Doesn't help that they play basically the same eight popular songs on the radio and I have to listen to it most of the week at the shop. X_X I HATE THAT BUBBLE SONG AND TEARDROPS ON MY GUITAR. PLEASE. STOP. FOR MY SANITY.)
[X] keep hair in front of your face (ha..I just recently got it. Everyone around me tries to tuck it behind my ears, saying they 'wanna see my pretty eyes')
[X] have given people evil stares (My ex-Uncle. X_X Right after I found out what he'd done to my little cousin)
[ ] Hate your parents(Nope! ^_^ I love them sooo much!)
[ ] Life sucks for you (It's all in your perspective.)
[ ] have been called emo(...only by my sister. Doesn't count because she's dramatic and biased.)
[X] Dislike the colors pink, teal and baby blue(
[ ] Complain a lot
[ ] own a studded belt
Total: 10

PART TWO:

SLUT/MAN WHORE:
[ ] own more than 10 minishorts (....how about none...)
[ ] have kissed more than 2 people in one night (never been kissed, really)
[ ] have been called a slut
[ ] like to drink (>.< Tastes funny...)
[ ] ever wear low cut shirts (haha...no need to emphasize there, if you know what I mean. Plus, what if a cold breeze comes by? You're in danger of frostbite or something, man...it's just weird.)
[/] have been called a tease(not in a sexual way, per se. But I tease people. XD)
[ ] Flirt with every girl or guy!
[/] love the opposite sex(They're okay in my mind. *shrug*)
[ ] Go to parties/sleepovers at least once a week
[ ] own 5 tube tops
[ ] Sit on the opposites lap (>_< That won't get their minds in the gutter. Ooooh no...)
[ ] you kiss because you think its fun
Total: .5 XD

PART THREE:

JOCK:
[ ] Own at least 5 jerseys
[ ] Have 10 or more trophies
[ ] Wear hair in ponytail like everyday
[ ] Love sports
[ ] Own 5 or more sweatpants
[X] Don't wear makeup(I'm too lazy and don't care)
[ ] Have / had played lacrosse
[ ] Play more than 2 sports
[ ] Can play a sport if you’ve never played it before
[ ] You play/ played Basketball on a team
[ ] You play/ played baseball-softball on a team
[ ] You play/ played soccer on a team
[ ] You run/ran track
[ ] You play/ played football on a team
[ ] Been called a jock
[ ] Have set a record
[ ] Are friends with your coach
[ ] Love watching sports
[] can do 15 pushups without getting tired
Total: 1 XD LOL

PART FOUR:

NERD:
[ ] wear your pants at your waist(I couldn't if I tried. ALL MY PANTS SUDDENLY GOT WAY TOO BIG FOR ME. >_< I dunno why...)
[ ] have/had braces(need 'em)
[ ] in advanced classes
[ ] On Math team
[ ] Have all A’s(All A's and B's)
[X] Like spending time with your parents(YES. DEY COOL)
[ ] have been called a nerd(I've been frequently called a dork. By GG and Dee, especially. XD)
[ ] are *annoyed* or bullied
[X] LOVE to learn(if you aren't learning you're dead.)
[X] Like your teachers(well, she's kinda my mom...so I guess it makes it a bit...yeah.)
[/] Watch history channel(sometimes. It ain't so bad if you catch the right programs)
[X] never go anywhere on the weekends(XD)
[X] Have been called weird
[ ] scared to talk to the opposite sex (Nope! :D )
[ ] Don't have pics of yourself on myspace(Does this count if I'm not ON myspace? That makes me nonconformist, not nerdy...)
[X] read a book a month
[X] You read on your last spring break(never really got a spring break..._
[X] Have your own website(AND PEOPLEZ LUFF IT)
[ ] wear pocket protectors(.....)
Total: 8.5

If you haven’t noticed The parts represent the 4 high school stereotypes

Multiply each number by 3 then repost as

“30% emo, 1.5% slut/man whore, 3% jock, 25.5% nerd”

So what does that make the other 30%?! D :

And another one:

*Emotional side*

1.
When you are stressed, what is the first thing you do? I stop breathing for a few seconds and glare at some inanimate object. I usually tense up, too. Then I calm myself(or at least try)
2.
Does crying really make things better or worse? I think it can make things better. You can let out those thoughts and emotions you've been bottling up. A cleansing experience, if you really let it all out.
3.
Is there anyone you can tell everything to? Hm...there are lots of people I can talk to, but I dunno about everything...
4.
What calms you down the most? Music-music-music. I get ADD and start tapping my feet and fingertips in a sort of crazy withdrawal if I haven't heard any tunes for awhile...my mind starts racing, too, sometimes.
5.
Any kind of music that makes you feel better? The kind of music that sends shivers up your spine. The kind of music that says exactly what you've been feeling in just, the perfect way. So much so that you couldn't have said it better if you sat and tried to think of a way for a hundred years.
6.
Are you generally a happy person? ^_______^
7.
What or who puts the biggest smile on your face? The laughter of my friends that I helped create. Seriously, what's cooler than that?
8.
Do you ever over-react on the smallest things? ....hm...occasionally, I suppose. But it's not a tradition or habit of mine, certainly.
9.
Ever suffer from bad depression or anxiety? Besides the depression and anxiety everyone feels and half the world population denies? Naw...My disposition doesn't allow for extensive brooding.
10.
Mad about something? Hm...my hand aches from the cold. I am always angry about the stupid social games people play and the mind trips people try. But otherwise, not particularly.
11.
Happy about something? I can has cheeseburger!? : DDD And I has Mountain Dew?!?!

*Loving side*

1. currently with someone? Nope.
2. happy about that? I'm currently ambivalent to the whole situation in my recent status -- so yes.
3. how long now? Forever, really. I've never been on a date, been steady with anyone, or really kissed a guy.
4. have you married this person or got engaged?.............what do you think?
5. like to cuddle? With people I trust and deeply love. I don't just cuddle with anybody. It means something special to me.
6. do you like sensitivity? You need sensitivity coupled with determination, independence, and open-mindedness. But yes, sensitivity is a very admirable trait. You find it particularly in today's artists, I find.
7. is your partner open about their feelings towards you? ......no! D : I don't have one, you see...
8. still in love? : D With myself?!?
9. does looks really matter? When it comes down to it, no. Personal hygiene, on the other hand....
10. if they don’t like your family or friends, does that really matter? Yes. Because my parents and siblings, at the very least, rock socks and purple hair. And if they can't see that or at least jive with that, then forget it.
11. who starts the most arguments? ........I argue with myself. How do I answer that?

*Friendly side*

1. have besties in your life? ^_^ Yup.
2. who are they? Moonychan, MTMers, M'liege Deechansan, GG-lahve, and Loverly Leelee..they've each been there for me when I needed a lift, even if they didn't know it.
3. do you see them alot? Haha...over the internet?
4. do they like the guy/girl you are with? NO THEY HATE IT WHEN I DATE MYSELF ON FRIDAY NIGHTS. XD
5. which one lives the fartherest away? Erm...I dunno....
6. do you get along with everyone? I can get along with practically anyone, I believe. Doesn't mean I like them, though. ;)
7. are you too nice of a person towards people? Sometimes, yeah. My type tend to get taken advantage of, to a certain extent. Mostly from my sense of obligation.
8. would you give anything to someone in need of help? Not anything. But I'm willing to hear how I can help and see what I can do to chip in.
9. would you consider ever getting a tattoo of your bff on you? Um..I would consider getting a small, emotionally-significant tattoo that all my friends could have. Kinda like how the actors for the hobbits in LOTR did? : D I think that was coooool....or that one family when their adoptive daughter was run over by a car...I think the whole family got a tattoo of her name...
10. what about your partner? :) Same as above. Only something small and if it was emotionally significant. I don't want some huge freaking design all over my back or a cheesy 'I heart so-and-so' on my arm. Overdone much?
11. know anyone two-faced? Yes.

*Physical Side*

1. are you a lover or fighter? Probably a lover. Fighting seems pretty stupid, and those who get into fights senselessly are usually trying to resolve some psychological issues, IMO.
2. ever been in a fist-fight? Hm...not really.
3. have you been in a abusive relationship? No. But I've known lots of people who have.
4. are you more to verbally fight or physically fight? Verbal spars all the way! Much more mind-engaging! Use your brain, don't knock it out!
5. do you consider yourself in shape? Meh, not really. I'm your typical lazy teenager. My fitness points are negative four.
6. what features do you wish to change? Jawline and teeth.
7. ever have anything from your body removed? No...don't think so.

*your weird side*

1. ever wonder what was on the “other side”? Yeah, lotsa times.
2. believe there is a heaven? Yes.
3. seen UFO’S latley? ....No.
4. wonder if animals can talk? They kinda do. I think body language is a very important and vivid way of communication!
5. what about the lockness monster? ....what about him? Is he coming for tea?
6. can you watch horror movies by yourself in the dark? I've watched them in the dark with very quiet companions... I think that's a little creepier than just by yourself. They just sit there like O.O
7. is your doors always locked at night? Yes.
8. ever sing in front of the mirror? Yes
9. name something you do that you normally won’t admit bc it is strange. I lie on bathroom floors. And sometimes dream in music video format. XD
10. ever believe that there was little green men that take your stuff and hide it while you sleep? ........I know there are relatives that do the same thing. Why bother insulting short people with skin conditions?
11. ever wander if stars are people we lost? ....no, but now I'm going to...

You know, I only take these to show how different my answers are from everybody else. It's funny.

maskednicci @ 2008-09-10T01:42:00

2008-09-10T09:06:21Z

Okies, in new news. My gramma and I FINALLY finished Pride and Prejudice! It was her first read, obviously. I've read it...haha....maybe four times all the way through, numerous partial reads.(Particularly a certain scene in a certain room with a certain endearing character proposing to another endearing character. You know you love me.) We read from chapter 50 something to the end just tonight, which isn't bad. BTW, the stuff between Elizabeth Bennet and Lady Catherine de Bourgh is freaking PRICELESS. I mean, that is verbal sparring at it's utmost hilarity. I saw a few fork-tongued comments, and since I read it aloud to my grandmother, I got to use a really sharp tone, and of course over-enunciating all my words for her. XD I do voices when I read. Dig it.

Watched Cinderella Man tonight. I know, everyone else has probably seen already, and I always watch things years after everyone else, but dad borrowed it for lack of something new-ish to watch(seriously, he's watched all the James Bonds numerous times. I probably would know which one you're talking about if you alluded to one, and I didn't even really watch them), and he chose Cinderella Man. I happened to have finished a loverly posty for GG at KC's site, and had little else to do, and he asked if I wanted to watch it and I said, "Okies." And started my Nemo sheet music a-printing. (W00t! w00t! I multitask from across the house. Hurhur.)

My right hand is so cold right now it's all stiff and hard to type. X_X Gramma left all her windows and doors open for the last few hours and it's coooold outside. Comparatively to recent temps, that is.

Anyways, I've always wanted to do reviews on some of the films I watch, and I'm bored, so I guess I'll do that now. As an added plus, I've way over-used my allotted commas for the evening in the last two paragraphs, so this should be fun.

WARNING: I'm not going to bother avoiding spoilers because it's just annoying and I don't think it'll cause you to lose much for enjoying the film. (or not enjoying the film)

Okies -

Story Idea/Concept: A man's journey through the Great Depression, along with his personal challenges and challenges as a boxer champion. A first glance at the summary, IMO, doesn't offer much intrigue. But it holds a lot more to it than first glance. The way the script was written seems a bit similar in structure to, say, the Rocky shows, where I could tell he was gonna win the fights you got to see(except in the beginning of course. You have to show them losing in the first part of the movie, to try and throw you off track. I realized this at about age...9? 10?), and the only question win-wise was whether he would get pummeled badly or REALLY badly. A couple of times, though, I wondered about the OTHER things he was risking in his more personal-level journey. The losses in his life in the little moments, not so boxer-important, touched way more than the also-compelling and stress-inducing poundings he took to his face numerous times. From the start, when you could see, hear, and practically FEEL the bones in his hand breaking, it was moving. I didn't think, "well, now he's out of a job", or at least, not at first. I felt for him at that moment, and the indescribable, mind-boggling pain. For the future, the loss of that hand and how it was a vital piece of his existence at that time. You feel a sense of foreboding when you first see his family, a warning of the challenges ahead.(BTW, they did very well at letting you see their 'normal' lives before the real conflict hit. I think it was a very believable fashion in which it was written and filmed. It started from what you thought was his most important thing(his boxing), to what was really at the top of the list for him(family), and then to his acceptance and keep-fighting attitude.

But back to the feel-for-him thing. The representation is heart-wrenching. From the first few moments of the jump forward in time to his extreme fall into poverty, I was left questioning, "How bad has it really gotten for him?" "What other sort of challenges is he facing?" the little details, the little moments and dialogue, as well as props and setting, did very well to convey the realism and brutal honesty of the fact that he was facing a very challenging time, but he was determined to continue. I especially loved and enjoyed the scenes between Jim and his wife, both in their previous good fortunes, into their bad times, and further still into their worst of times. The moments where they would stop talking and just look into each other's eyes, then embrace each other, were very well-timed, IMO. A good, subtle expression of their "my one true love forever and ever", and they get extra points for not needing to emphasis this in what has now become traditional Hollywood way - a not subtle scene of fondling leading into direct or alluded-to sex. *rolls eyes* It's over-done, people. You need to get that and find a new way to express extreme attraction and/or love, IMHO.

Alright.

Script: Pretty much awesome. There were a few kinks, but only as much as can be expected. Scripts can't be all-pleasing, and I'm not one to criticize in-depth on this since I've only been paying all that much attention to wording/phrasing/deliverance for a modest amount of time. There were some adorable moments, some hilarious moments, some thought-provoking moments, and some totally pwning moments, though. So I liked it. A thousand times better than anything Barbie's coming out with, I guarantee that. XD

Acting/Actor Choices: Pretty good. Strong lead(Russell Crowe as Jim Braddock), which is always vitally important. I feel the pain etched across his features was played just a hair too subtle(he broke his hand in three places!? Got punched hard below the belt twice in one fight? Maybe I'm just overwhelmed by the idea of such pains, but it seems like it would be shown outwardly a liiiittle bit more), but still well done. Out of 10 I would give it an 8 1/2. : ) His manager(Paul Giamatti as Joe Gould, a very familiar face) was hilarious just to watch walk through the room and a little underused, but all his parts were played well. Renée Zellweger, who played Jim's wife Mae, always seemed a tad too distant for some of her other roles, but she fit this role well. Mae seems just like a 1930's woman should be - a bit prideful in her determination to appear poised and everything's-fine, but very strong and in control of herself. Her and her husband's life, however, is a little harder to maintain. There's a little clip of a scene where she is heading to Joe Gould's to insist he not pull her husband back into the ring, where she is storming across the street and to the building. Man, my dad looked over at me and said, "She looks like a woman on a mission, doesn't she?" She has just entered the screen, was notably far-off, and you could just SEE the determination in how she held herself and how she walked. Brimming confidence and self-determination. Well-played, Zelwlweger. *applause*

(Plus, the fact that she was dirt-poor and her wardrobe still remained notably nice, and perhaps even fashionable? A well-placed and I believe well-researched decision on behalf of the crew.)

Bruce McGill, who played Jimmy Johnston, a very feisty character indeed, was pretty intimidating. Not overtly so(he's not the villain of the story, if you're looking for an easy-definition). The best quote to describe himself was thus, "My heart is for my family. My brains and my balls are for business." He's tough, rough, and I doubt very much the cream puff, but I feel for his character. You don't make it rich and prosperous during a Depression if you're not fierce, and for me, Mr. Johnston emanated a sense of abruptness and power. Also, this actor looks SO familiar to me, but I cannot for the life of me find out what I've seen him in. *shakes head* My memory is so poor these days...

A character I found underplayed was Mike Wilson, played by Paddy Considine. This actor looks fairly new on the acting scene, and perhaps it was the character more than the actor, but his part intrigued me. There was a sense of wonder at the little dialogue he was offered, and I felt there wasn't very much emphasis on his own struggle. But I suppose there wasn't much information on him, as well as the fact that you don't want to take away from your lead character. Mike was very 'young-patriot' like, and he has a bit of talk about an uprising, I believe, organizing people to work things out, but it never really finishes that storyline in the way you expect. And while unpredictability can be good, it just felt odd, the way it was represented.

Character Development: Ahh...there was a really nice character development in this, I believe. It wasn't one of your "coming of age" stories that have been popping up like wildfire in the last few years of films and books, and it isn't one of your, "my life was utterly changed after.." stories either, really. It was one of those stories about your grandfather you hear, and you keep trying to imagine how he must have felt, why he acted the way he did. You begin to see it through his eyes in a very realistic fashion. It's your everyday Joe turned unexpectedly into an icon sort of tales. No, there isn't some cheesy sideplot(or main plot) about how money and fortune changed him - just the opposite, his consistency of character was very touching to me. Jim displayed continually how a family man can struggle, how a proud man can stumble but keep his pride in the end through perseverance, how a devout praying man can mutter the words, "I'm all prayed out" in one of his darker hours, and how a little optimism can go a long way. It was the little things he did that made a difference. The bigger things just accumulated. The seemingly small tasks became vital to his character, and the really intense moments arrived when you started seeing things through his eyes.

One of my favorite scenes is when he is really getting back in the ring after years of sickness, poverty, and just trying to muddle through, and he is standing before his opponent, about to give up. When he flashes back to his wife and kids, and the children's empty beds when his wife had to send them away until they got back on track(they were getting pneumonia from no heat and little food, no lights and few clothes, etc). I just found it intense and film-wise gratifying to see the look of sheer stubbornness and drive flash in his eyes. It was way better to me than all the punches and boxing huggles previous or following.

Video Presentation/CGI/etc: I think it was actually decently done. There were some of the fight scenes that seemed a little awkward to follow, especially when it panned around the actors in the ring. Besides being a bit dizzy it was difficult to follow what was going on. But I suppose this is a supreme challenge for the camera to get the right stuff, especially for fast-moving fight scenes like that. A good idea is consistency for ease of viewing, but not being too predictable with your angles. The special effects used was seldom and well-placed. A good use of subtlety, and allowing a storyline to show through. This seems like such a rarity these days that I can't help but repeat the praise of this: HURRAY! THEY DIDN'T SPICE IT WITH A BILLION SPECIAL EFFECTS AND LET HIS STORY SHINE BRILLIANTLY AND CLEVERLY!

: ) One of the most notable moments is the breaking of his hand. For a moment you receive a flash of what looks like an X-ray view of his hand shattering, if I recall correctly. This added with sound effects, created a very cringe-worthy moment. Bravo on that. *cringes and claps*

Oh yeah, and with our 'evil-dude', we have the curly-haired Max Baer, played by Craig Bierko. Wow, so much anger issues in one character. He played your nearly-stereotypical smart-aleck, double-chick-loving sleeze, but I did laugh pretty heartily when in the final fight scene Jim's manager throws a one-liner at him and he can't resist turning to spat back, and Jim nails him one in the jaw. XD He couldn't resist...

Action sequences has been dealt with, so I think that only leaves...

Music/Sound Effects: I've always wondered how a punch in boxing makes such a weird thumping noise like that, but recently I've decided it has less to do with impact to the shoulder/neck/nose/whatever, and more to do with the punching gloves.

Don't mind me there, I'm just rambling oddly. I think of weird things while doing day-to-day stuff.

Most sound effects were well-placed and I didn't catch any notable odd sounds. Which is good. If something had been out of place a person is more likely to hear it. The less you notice in sounds/music, the better it is.

Music-wise, I didn't pay much attention to it since the plot was so moving, but there were some nice moments. I'll probably watch it again and pay more mind to it, but the general idea is that it was passable. Nothing was oddly placed in a severe or frown-worthy fashion, but I get a bit in-depth and picky about my music selection. This being action-driven, there was vastly more sound-effects(crowds cheering/booing, crunching of bones and the shouts of referees) than music, but there was still some moments where it added to the feel of the movie. And like I said, the less you notice the music/sounds, especially the first time, the better. Unless they are trying hard to be epic(good or bad, I mean) then it should blend right in with the movie experience.

Overall, it was a fantastic movie, and one of the better plotlines I've seen. The actual boxing scenes were a bit intense - especially the last one - though they were a little predictable, IMO, especially being such an echo of other such films as Rocky. But personally, I don't think this story is much about boxing -- it's about Jim. It was Jim that moved the story along and Jim that you learn to care about. And it's Jim, the Cinderella Man, that makes this story worthy of watching again. One of those movies that you remember years down the road and say to yourself, "That was a pretty cool movie..." and then you watch it again and are reminded of just how awesome and impacting it was.

~~~

Okays, done with my rambling review. XD For the record(I've had people ask me about this before) I don't organize my posts or reviews or comments or anything like an essay. I edit and rephrase a little bit here and there, but I don't reread it until I've posted it. It's all train-of-consciousness, almost. And yes, your little Mascii thinks about all this while she watches her films. You should hear about some of the films I've been forced to watch again and again, because of my siblings who like to rewatch movie money-makers and sequels of what used to be purely fantastic Disney movies. *sigh* But I have seen a steadily incline of good heart-wrenching films recently. So that's good. *thumbs up* Bring back the plotlines! Subtle use of CGI should be mandatory, I'm beginning to think.

Hm...and also, I watched the Ellen Degeneres show with my gramma. We watched last night's episode and tonight's. Last night she had the Jonas Brothers on, apparently, as well as Michelle Obama(not sure if that's how she spells Michelle, I'm afraid. My apologies. It's late). So I asked if I could watch with, since I was interested in seeing both of those guests. And both were for the same reason, to be honest - I'd heard a lot about them/her, and I wanted to see for myself in an interview what they/she was/were like, etc. To scope them out, per se. See what my gut feeling tells me, then what my mind elaborately tacks on.

Mrs. Obama -- quite nice, she definitely dances in a pretty cool way, IMO. XD Barack's dancing, which they showed a clip of from when he was on Ellen's show, just made me laugh and think of my own father. What's that tell you? I'm really hoping these guys are as down-to-earth as they seem...I'm not naive enough to think that there isn't the possibility of appearances, but I also think that certain influences on my life have instilled just a tiny bit of paranoia in me when it comes to people. Heh...well, I liked watching the interview moderately. It didn't offer too much information since Ellen is clearly the comedic, but it was funny to see the doghouse/whitehouse. XD I don't have much to say because the interview was so short, I'm afraid, but she talked about how she's dealing with everything and what their kids think of daddy maybe being president and such.

Jonas Brothers -- (bear in mind I have no idea what their names are. Haha...is that lame or just funny?)-- kind of an adorable and endearing interview. IMO, the Bros had nothing on Mrs. Obama's dancing, but they tried. (the camera showed a teenage girl screaming and freaking out in the audience. I was wondering if she was gonna pass out or something) Hahaha...and I laughed at the diaper comment. Hearing singers/actors talk about their mother has always been strangely hilarious to me. Because then I imagine the stories and laughs I could tell about my mom and dad. And surprise people with the fact that, even as a teenager, I think my parents are COOL! XD I really do. They aren't perfectly in-synch with today's trends, I dare say, but if they were it would be apparently because they were trying to hard to be cool in their kid's(or the younger generation's) eyes. But no, they're just fun to hang out with. :) And hearing the Bros chit chat about their mother's reaction was interesting. Plus, the comment about how two of them still share a bedroom? Totally my sister and me. We have this huge house right now(four-five bedrooms, two full baths, lots of empty space. XD We're moving soon), and we still keep sharing a bedroom. Not because we have to - just because it feels kind of empty without someone else there. College dorms are no issue with me. ;)

Okays, so after the interview the Jonas Brothers closed the show with a live performance that had all the fans screaming their heads off. I really paid attention to this part, especially for your sake, GG. You know me -- I'm up for anything new, and even if I shy away from the popular stuff mostly because I know I'll get sick of all the merchandise I'm sure will be shoved underneath my nose, I'm open to these sort of things. Especially music. Well, I'll just say I'm not going to be handing over any dough for Jonas Bros CDs anytime soon. I put a lot of opinion on a band overall by their live performances, and I saw them on Dancing With The Stars, and now on Ellen. Neither performance had me in the least way enthralled. The vocals I found muffled-sounding and ill-fit to the melody lines for the most part, and the lyrics were nothing astounding. The actual instruments were passable and kind of catchy, but nothing significant to my ears. *shrug* I've wondered often what their HUGE fanbase is based on, but I can't seem to find anything I find remotely believable. But of course, that's just my personal opinion and tastes. I'm not downing them or saying they suck -- I just don't prefer their music. There was one song of theirs I was humming for awhile, though...I think it was, "Year Three Thousand"...but I think that was a cover, to be honest. X_X

Okies...so I promised GG I would recommend some music to her. To be fair, I was trying to wait until I had an uber-pile to send your way, lahve. So I could be momentarily impressive with my ultra-music prowess. For at least a millisecond. Until you all realize that I am severely deprived on what's "happening" and am really in the dark about most things.

I dunno if you've heard of these names, but...meh.

For GG, I think you should totally look up the bands...
"Acceptance" -- makes me think of Yukito, and my muse for him is on full blast right now! I think Leelee gave me their stuff, and I like it. : D So much cool new music over the last week! I miss music-snatching.
"A Perfect Circle" --the sound is sooo soothing, and there are some freaking amazing meanings behind those lyrics. It's nostalgic, and they're definitely near the top of my list
"Fastball" -- their songs make me think more of a more shallow part of my life, I suppose. It's hard to explain, really. But it's my easy-listening stuff. That kind of music you play in the background over speakers while doing five million other things, yet you can't really blast out your hardcore music that might offend some listeners. Very catchy stuff, too. Not near as soothing as A Perfect Circle, but worth a hearing.
"D'espairsray" -- One of my favorite bands right now. Pretty emo and hardcore scream stuff, plus it's in Japanese, but...man, those songs can play through your head ALL day. My ultimate fave by them is, "Forbidden". One night I dreamt that song was placed to a music video for DeathNote. XD Yes, I can dream music videos. Warning: this band has some language. Not all of it in English. LOL!
"Savage Garden" -- I was practically weaned on their stuff. Two-person-band, but done in a lovely way, IMO. The lead singer sometimes sounds like a girl, but hey, it was the 90's. Go synths. Simplistic accompaniment, not-quite-popish melody lines, and some decent lyrics. Caaatchy tunes. One of those bands that everyone tends to sing along to.

And GG, you've officially addicted me to Flyleaf. Played it on repeat all day, day before yesterday. Mom calls it 'whiny music', though. And my brother calls Pillar 'racket'. X_X Why, why, WHY!? Open up your musical horizons, people! It's still music! Now MTM says that screamo isn't her thing and she doesn't see it as a musical art form or anything like that. *sigh* I suppose differences of opinions need to be allotted for, but this means I can only play MY music once in a great while. The rest of the time I have to play their stuff or wait until those rare moments when I don't have to keep an ear open for little kids I'm babysitting or when my mother needs my help with something. *siiiiigh*

Okay, did something totally dorky in Walmart the other day. Was out shopping with my brother for groceries....$100 for the week, for 7+ people. We got everything on the list plus an extra can here and there for safety, and we were under budget. Yaaay! Only $12, but stiiiiill! It's my second time shopping without mom correcting amounts and such.

Alright, so near the checkout line was one of those huge cardboard display things. I stopped humming, "Cassie"(would have sung it if I wouldn't have scared people by randomly belting "...Written on that bul-leeeeeet! And Cassie pulled the tri-i-ggerrrr...!") and sent it a Mascii double take. It had a circle on it and it said, "History of Rock'N'Roll" or something like that. On the circle around it, there was written various band names and artists, like Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Queen....and Queen....

So what does Mascii do? She grins and lets out a little gasp, scampering over to look at the CDs sitting atop this loverly little cardboard thingy.

And what does she see?

What CD does she end up picking up to smile at, as three or four people look her way curiously?

Jonas Brothers.

Where was my Queen? There were lots of empty spaces, and once or two albums by some bands I liked or had heard briefly. But there were, ten or twelve Jonas Bros albums. I have nothing against them, I SWARE. But...where was my classic bands? *cries* They abandoned me. I could not find them. No Iron Maiden, no Black Sabbath, no Eagles, no Beatles, nothing I would listen to and really, truly enjoy.

....And thus I was left heart-broken in Walmart, holding a Jonas Bros CD as people looked on strangely..wondering what this strange teenager was doing gasping, rushing over, then looking so forlorn. Walmart, we've never been on good terms. But now you have utterly failed me.

This was somehow worse than when I found out our library had NO manga, no anime, one Japanese book, only the first in the awesome Montmorency series, and yet held EIGHT COPIES of each of the Harry Potter books, tons of fluffy adult romance novels, a huge box of 'Blondie' comics, and two huge sections for Videos and DVDs. And their audio/CD section was severely lacking. This sucks so badly.

Then brother came up with the money to check out, so I continued in line. *sigh* Then he skittered off again to look for lemon juice and left me standing awkwardly with the checkout lady and waiting customers. *glare* He abandoned me for most of the shopping trip, too. Wandering around and letting me pick out the correct sauce for our chicken alfredo. I'll be cooking it, too. Because I'm awesome like that. CHICKEN ALFREDO WITH SUN-DRIED TOMATO SAUCE IS MY FAVORITE MEAAAAALLLL...

Anyways, this is further physical evidence of Mascii's dorkism. It's been a long time developing, but I think we're finally making some real progress.

Oh, and all my friends except maybe one or two seem to go through bouts of severe depression. I'm wondering if, like some people, I attract a certain type of person? I dunno. I've just recently been offhandedly told that I'm comforting and am a good listener. I was thinking about that. You know, sometime between bags of shredded cheese and 2 liter soda on sale....

Okies, real quick.

2008-09-05T06:05:36Z

Much has been happening with me. Just realized I'm getting kinda old over here.

Yeah, we all have those moments of actual thought.

X - I HAVE TOM LEHRER SHEET MUSIC! This guy is hilarious! If you haven't heard his, "Poisoning Pigeons In The Park" or "Irish Ballad", you SO should! Also, you MT geeks/addicts may enjoy, "The Elements". ;)

X - Senpai, liege, my love. I wanted to suggest you look up the artist 'After Forever' and give them a listen. Some hardcore stuff, there, and the lead singer has this freaking awesome range that I looove. There's a bunch of really deep and thought-provoking lyrics, too. Which is a plus. My favorites of theirs are, "Victim Of Choices, "Digital Deceit", and ....OOoooh...what was the name of it? I couldn't find the mp3 of it anywhere so I haven't listened to my ultimate fave of theirs, and now it's slipped my mind because I'm weird like that. It was her singing like two people, though. Her mom, herself, and the guy vocals did the father. Warning to any who look them up now - they are Beauty and Beast vocals, which means more delicate-sounding soprano with hardcore metal-esque male vocals. Rocks in my book, because not only do they have soprano vocals, but she's got power behind her voice, too. Very cool. *nod nod*

X - Stupid placement tests plague the beginning of every school year for me. I have to take tests in all my subjects for about three grades. Looks like Math is REALLY behind. I have to do three semester's work in this year alone. X_X Other stuffles is on-track, though. Pretty much.

X - Lotsa drawings I updated to my dA! Wowzers! O_O Drawings getting better, especially profile and line work. Still loooots more to go before I start enjoying my own works. Next on the list to focus on would be body anatomy, backgrounds, and the dark element in my style that I lack.

X - Most of my friends have been coming to me for rantage and ventage lately, and it warms my heart, to be honest. Isn't that weird? I don't like that they have stuff to get off their chest, but I like to think they'll tell me instead of letting it steam inside. ^_^ Lots of drama going on around me, as usual. And as usual, nothing much changes for Mascii. But sooooon! Stuffles will be going on for me a lot in the coming year, some that I can see, some that I have no idea about. So yaaaay for changes!

X - Been watching pres. stuffles lately. Still trying to wrap my brain around things. But one thing - I'm glad I'm not old enough to vote. Woweee...it's just one finger pointing at a finger that's pointing at them, tons of theories and empty promises. And too much smiling for me. I get irritated by people on TV that smile too much. *shrug* And I noticed who was winging their speech more and who wasn't. I may not understand our system as well as I would like, but I'd like to believe I'm a good judge of personality - some of what I saw rubbed me the wrong way. Other stuff not so much. We shall see...

X - Just realized that I draw, play piano, sing, dance(somewhat), knit, and write. All moderately, but still. I just noticed that I'm multi-talented!! :DDDD

X - And an insomniac. Gotta go! Mom says we have a homeschooler's convention in the morning. I'm the only one in my grade level. X_X Wish me luck on not being antisocial again!

... yeah, shutup.

2008-09-03T05:39:36Z

To be honest, I kinda hate memes, but this one is kinda cool in my book. (just stop sending me those stupid forwarded-a-million-times-emails)

Info
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4. (Ha! I AM 5'4!)
[/] I think I'm ugly sometimes. (Whether they admit it or not, everyone does. Fact.)
[ ] I have many scars. (Wish I had more. Only three or four on my legs and maybe one or two small ones on my arms)
[ ] I tan easily. (*is pale beyond belief* My sister tans beautifully, though. But I'm not really into the tan look. Gimme pale! :D)
[X] I wish my hair was a different color. (WHY TEMP BLACK DO YOU HATE ME SO! I swear I'll get it black somehow!)
[X] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.(Haha...most of my friends have never seen my hair! Weird internet stalker fear or something, yo)
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[ ] I am self-conscious about my appearance. (Not really. O_o)
[ ] I have/I've had braces. (Need 'em. Pretty badly.)
[/] I wear glasses (Have glasses but never wear 'em, wear my BLUE CONTACTS INSTEAD. W00TW00T!)
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[X] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger. (I was called "Cute" on numerous occasions by middle-aged females. X_X Meh.)
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings. (NOSE PIERCING SOON I SWARE. THAT'LL MAKE IT THREE.)
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears. (SEE ABOVE, YO)
[X] I have freckles.(Used to have them in abundance on my cheeks, but they've kinda faded. Have more on arms and such, though, here and there.)

Family/Home Life
[X] I've sworn at my parents.(Not AT them. And it kinda slipped out on accident the only times I've ever sworn beyond 'heck'.)
[ ] I've run away from home. (Thought about it. For kicks, you know.)
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[X] My biological parents are together.(YES AND THEY ROCK!)
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.(Haha...not anymore. But I've experienced such an occasion. Thrice.)
[ ] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[X] I'm in school
[ ] I have a job
[X] I've fallen asleep at work/school.(I have fallen asleep during math. At the table, too.)
[X] I almost always do my homework. (All my work is homework! :D)
[X] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years. (Dar is no Honor Roll in homeschooling)
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired.

Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation. (Almost did the other day, but I said 'haha' instead.)
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry. (No, but the classic Disney films PWN TODAY'S FILMS BY THE THOUSANDS. STOP THE STUPID SEQUELS AND PREQUELS ALREADY, WOULDJA?!)
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[ ] I've snorted while laughing.
[X] I've laughed so hard I've cried.(gotta love laughing at your friends as they are on sugar highs deep into the night. Good times.)
[X] I've glued my hand to something. (Yarn + glue + fingers = not good.)
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[X] I've had chicken pox.
[ ] I've had measles

HA! I arez healthy.

Traveling
[X] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.(Been driven, not driven.)
[X] I've been on a plane. (I was too little to remember it.)
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
I WANT TO BE TO ALL THESE PLACES. Except maybe Africa and Mexico. No real strong draw there. BUT JAPAN AND CANADA AND EUROPE. OYARLYGOINGNOWKTHX.

Experiences
[ ] I've gotten lost in my city. (Which one? There's about twenty of them. X_x)
[X] I've seen a shooting star.
[X] I've wished on a shooting star
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[X] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.(Not pajama day. My brother was on laundry and he procrastinates on chores worse than me. No worries, though. My pajamas are those little loose shorts and a Tshirt, so no one cared/noticed.)
[X] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator. (OMIGOSHYAY! I love elevators, so, so much)
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts. (No need. Wouldn't hesitate, though.)
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been skiing
[X] I've been in a play. (Once! Yay! That's it.)
[ ] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[X] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue. (I regularly eat snow, too. By the handfuls)
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[X] I've sat on a roof top at night. (ooOOoohh..my room used to have a window that opened right up onto the one area of the roof you could sit on. I'd stick my feet out there when it rained, too. Soooo much fun.)
[ ] I've played chicken.
[X] I've played a prank on someone. (I suck at pranks, though. So not often.)
[ ] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[X] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
[X] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[ ] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[ ] I've kept something from a past relationship.
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[X] I am a cuddler. (My love language is touch, so it's almost the same thing.)
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[X] I've hugged a stranger. (It's the Midwest. Everyone seems to do that. O.o)
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

So many blanks. Because I've never even been on a date yet. So haha.

Honesty/Crime
[X] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[X] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[X] I've snuck out of my house.
[ ] I have lied to my parents about where I am. (NEVAH)
[X] I am keeping a secret from the world.(Everyone is.)
[X] I've cheated while playing a game.(Video game cheats count, right?)
[ ] I've cheated on a test.
[ ] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[X] I've consumed alcohol. (My mom gave some to me on a few occasions. Casual and cool.)
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.(X_X Yuck!)
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem. (NO! I used to choke myself half to death to take children's aspirin. Medicine and me are not good buddies. My body can take care of itself for the most part, thank you very much. I don't need to lie to my body.)
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[X] I shut others out when I'm depressed. (To a certain extent, then I choose who to open up to.)
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[X] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[X] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I've woken up crying. (I've woken up screaming, though)

Death and Suicide
[/] I'm afraid of dying.
[ ] I hate funerals.
[X] I've seen someone dying.(My great-grandmother from Cancer)
[ ] Someone close to me has attempted suicide. (A friend of mine considered it.)
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.
[ ] This tag scares me.(Not at all. People shouldn't avoid talking about death. It's a part of life - it's just that it's the ending of one, is all. Death for one person can also be a beginning for another, so no, I'm not afraid to talk about it.)

Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs. (Bleargh.)
[X] I own an iPod or MP3 player. (*kisses mp3* Baby, let me buy you a bigger memory card, so we can spend more time together!)
[/] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga. (Mildly obsessed, but not unhealthily so.)
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece. (...no. Just...no.)
[X] I own something from Hot Topic. (Only been to Hot Topic twice. The thing I owe is...MY L T-SHIRT! YAAAAAY!)
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[X] I own something I got on e-bay. (A sadly unused violin. Because it's hard to teach yourself violin. X_X Makes me depressed.)
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random
[/] I can sing well. (Meh. I've accepted the fact that my voice is by no means significant in nature or tone.)
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.(0_o Why...just...why?)
[/] I open up to others easily. (There is a part of me that can be sociable, but a part of me that is much harder to touch, especially early in acquaintance.)
[X] I watch the news. (Here and there, yes. But I watch very little TV)
[ ] I don't kill bugs. (I massacred a cricket the size of my thumb last night with my shoe.)
[X] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme. (YES YES YES. Hence why I love Tuomas. Yaaay for nonperfect rhymes that have power of words! And yay for guys that compose lyrics that don't constantly go on about the female body! I listened to a few moments of a rap song the other day between switching radio channels. Man, it's all, "I touched her body like this and I touched her body like that." Freaking stupidity. There's no touching of the soul! No connection and understanding, nothing emotive gained! X_X)
[ ] I curse regularly.
[X] I sing in the shower. (My nasal passages are actually clear in the shower. I enjoy the momentary ability while I can. X_X)
[ ] I am a morning person. (.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! If you count staying up until the morning as being a morning person.)
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone. (YAY FOR MAKING YOUR OWN RINGS)
[/] I'm a snob about grammar.(Somewhat. I won't kill you over it, since I make my own mistakes all the time, but you could at least make an effort for communication's sake, yes?)
[ ] I am a sports fanatic. (X_X Not at all.)
[/] I twirl my hair. (I don't usually twirl it. I kinda gently pull it and sorta 'straighten it' between my fingers. *shrug* Hard to explain.)
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[X] I love being neat.(I love being 'cool' better.)
[ ] I love Spam (Only Spam Threads)
[X] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day(<_< Christmas gifts.) [X] I bake well. (Meh, my skills are on a moderate level. I make cakes and cookies quite often in the wintertime.) [X] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.(BLUE FOR THE WIN! And black after that.) [X] I've worn pajamas to school. ('School' is downstairs.) [ ] I like Martha Stewart. (She used to remind me of Hilary Clinton. Dunno how.) [ ] I know how to shoot a gun. [X] I am in love with love.(Desperately, but only love itself. Not any physical being yet.) [/] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.(Heehee...only in mockery.) [/] I laugh at my own jokes. (Only when they're funny. Or when I didn't think it was funny and someone else laughs. Somehow I find unintentional jokes that amuse people to be amusing to myself...) [ ] I eat fast food weekly. [/] I believe in ghosts.(Anything is up for debate.) [ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message. [ ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class. [/] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.(I just leave the room for awhile and come back convincing myself it must've scampered off into some weird corner. I can't sleep knowing where it is, but if it's where I have no clue, I'm okay. O_o) [ ] I am really ticklish. [X] I love white chocolate (I love all chocolate. No seriously) [X] I bite my nails.(Not much anymore, thanks to the constant complains from others.) [X] I play video games.(SECRET OF MANA AND LEGEND OF ZELDA FOR THE WIN!) [ ] I'm good at remembering names. (My memory sucks. Big time.) [ ] I'm good at remembering dates. [ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. Five things about yourself: 1. You know those Kraft single slices of cheese? The ones that come in plastic wrappers? I love to eat those by themselves. And I fold them. Like paper. Fold-fold-fold-fold-eat-the-tiny-squares. Dunno why. I just do. 2. When I'm mad and on the internet I use bigger words than usual. I also use uncommon words in common conversation. 3. I'm not one to say much unless I have something to say, but I sometimes feel in real life like I'm not listened to. My voice kinda blends in with all the other voices and...yeah. That's why I love the internet. 'thoughts come fluently, words come easily', and all that jazz. 4. At this point in my life, all my material belongings fit into a little corner. About four or five regular sized boxes. Wow. I surprise myself. This is not counting my piano and bed, of course. But all my clothes and books and trinkets. 5. My outward expressions are often overlooked next to my dramatic sister, and I think that has made me appear colder and less extroverted than I am. Or perhaps I really am introverted. Anyways, my subtle expressions are there, and I have taught myself to amplify them according to the situation to give me the best benefit. A lot of people say I am very versatile, and I can get along with almost anybody. Even annoying people, babies, and elderly folks that can barely hear you. I see this as a distinct advantage(the ability to amplify the emotions without really getting too involved that I can't step back and take a deep breath), and I plan to hone this skill. Unfortunately this means I've achieved a certain level of bluntness, too. Which I must be wary of. Six ways to win your heart: 1. Just hold me and be okay with saying nothing, and not prying unnecessarily. I need that little comfort zone in my own mind, and I'll tell you when I need you. Understanding that is such a big deal for me. 2. Learn to read my subtle words and expressions without over-analyzing and going over the top with the little things. 3. Be totally into music. 4. Have the ability to hold an intelligent debate and not just agree with what everyone's saying, while still not blindly going against the norm. 5. Give me adventure and spontaneity, 6. Be honest with yourself and me. Don't hide things from me just because it 'might hurt me'. Secrecy and lies hurt me a thousand times worse, and realize I'm not all-knowing and you may have to be blunt with me sometimes. Five things that cross your mind a lot: 1. "Man, I think too much..." 2. "Oh! That reminds me!" 3. "Why are all the cool composer guys in their thirties?" 4. "S/He has cool hair. No really, they have REALLY cool hair!" 5. "I wonder how long it'll be until I can play my piano again..." Six things you wish you never had to do: 1. Math. 2. Math. 3. Work a job. I want a CAREER, okay?! 4. Get sick. 5. Watch my loved ones and close friends go through things they won't let me or I can't help them with. 6. Use the toilet. I mean, seriously. How much time do we waste in a year with that? XD Five turn offs: 1. Greasiness/uncleanliness. 2. Ignorance. 3. Conformity. 4. Self-pity. 5. Too warm a temperature. Seriously, I feel uber-icky if I'm even just the littlest bit too warm. Six turn ons: 1. Cool rainfalls. 2. The dark. 3. Music that swells and booms. 4. Soulful eyes and soft smiles. 5. Cool hair. AKA: 'emo hair' that falls in the owner's face on purpose. Normally dark colors, though I hold nothing against streaks of light hues. 6. That look of deep contemplation that some have. It doesn't have to be serious or important. Just to watch people caught up in their daydreams and reveries... Five wishes for your future: 1. To achieve greatness is some sort of music-honed field. 2. To get into this college I want. And to learn Japanese! : D I found out the college I want teaches courses for it! 3. To meet some of my online friends! Hopefully at that huge concert bash! :D 4. To live somewhere cool and rainy, but not humid. So I can stand in the rain all I want. 5. To not fret and fuss about money all the time and not feel bad because the ones I love need medical help we cannot get them. Two things you want to do before you die: 1. To grow in all my creative endeavors until I can grow no more. 2. To find that kind of true love that sends shivers down the spine and leaves you tongue-tied yet aching for more. One possession you could not live without: 1. ....hm...my body? Thought that's up for dispute. XD

Mountain Dew Doesn't Fix Everything

2008-08-22T08:32:49Z

Another late night on the compy, and another day where I felt like I didn't accomplish anything.

Mom has just gone into a bit of a paranoia. She heard that the President is going to pass Martial Law, which I haven't quite fully understood yet, but know enough to realize that it's something very serious for us if it comes to pass. This means she wants me 'off the radar' in case of any future trouble. She says that her and dad are in so much debt that if the military took over, they'd probably get locked up. Many scary thoughts coming from this, but to be honest, I'm nowhere near as concerned about it as she is. It does concern me directly right now, though. I was about to finally get my written permit out of the way, apply for a job, etc. But now she says that she wants me to wait awhile, at least until September.

This creates a problem, since there's a lot I need to be doing right now. Most of it involving 'getting on that radar' so I can start my life off on a nice jump-start. Or something similar to a jumping start. Really, it's more like a hobbling and hesitant start, but an eager one, all the same. I've told her I'll wait a little while, but I can't go very long. There's just so much to get done! And knowing myself, once she gives me the go-ahead it'll still be a while before I get off my procrastinating bottom and do it. Meh. X _ X

Meanwhile, the forum is going splendidly. I'm sure I've talked about it before on here, but it's just passed it's first year anniversary, and that makes me very happy inside. ^ . ^ There aren't many members, but all of them are really cool and active. There are one or two I have reservations for, but they're all wonderful writers that I'm glad to have in the group anyways. Each of them brings something unique to the table, and sometimes I sit and think about how awesome it is to have such a talented circle of writers.

No, I'm not kissing up to anybody. I really sit and think about that sometimes. Now I just wiiiiiish my lieeeeeeeege would join.

(Now we start in the kissing up) I may just perhaps might finally finish that D/H stuffles I started for yooooooou if you joooooooin iiiiin...[bats eyelashes sweetly] I know it's been forever and a year, and I'd have to read my own stuff to get back in la mode, but I'd do it for you, lahve! : DDD You don't have to commit to a bunch of stuff, but I really wanna see what kind of drama and fun you could come up with. Also, I think it would be a fantastic way to teach your writing muse a lesson. Before I roleplayed, my writing was very, very spastic. The recurring posts and the fact that you don't have to commit to a long session of writing makes it optimal, IMO, for writing practice. Not only that, but you can learn from other's mistakes and see other writing styles, too. ^ >^ Pwease!?!

Also, I played some Tori Amos music for my cousin Yumichan, and she really liked "Girl". It's ironic, really. That she picked that song out of all the others. The lyrics kinda go like this, "She's been everybody else's girl/Maybe one day she'll be her own..." Ha. Just like poor Yumichan. Maybe one day she'll be her own girl and not constantly fret about taking care of everybody else. My current project with her is getting her to see and believe how beautiful she really is. She is, too. She has an enviable warm skin tone like my sister, and big brown eyes constantly brimming with laughter and energy. Kind of skinny, but she'll probably fill out more once she's done growing, then she'll be tall and slender. She has a cute little nose that's slightly upturned and a pretty mouth that's constantly smiling. And more beautiful than her physical appearance is the love and fireball energy she's always emitting. I love her so much. I'm just still so afraid for her, to be frank.

[sigh...]

In other news, the last few weeks I've been plagued with a cruel cough that just WON'T leave me alone. Everyone else around me is getting it, too. My mother especially hard. X _ X I think I gave it to them, because for some reason people like to hang out around me. Wonder why...it's not like I'm as outgoing in real life as I am on the web. You see, peeps, normally I'm not very chitter chattery. I'll talk easily when the situation calls for it, but with seven plus people running in circles around me and always a moderate to high noise level, I'm not the first to make small talk. My sister says I 'balance out' in a situation. Meaning, if you jabber and jabber and jabber, I'll quiet down and listen to you. But if you're shy and quiet, I'll talk so that you don't have to(and hopefully don't feel very obligated to). I think I inherited it from my parents. Monkey-see monkey-do kinda thing, you know? By the way...'Monkey-See Monkey-Do' was a cool kid's book. Ever read it? One of those reading program books. Very thin. Low reading level. Very funny. Anyways.

You guys all get to see what goes on in my mind as I'm sitting her, without a smile or any outward signs of enthusiasm, typing away at an alarming rate. Maybe that's why I like playing instruments so much. It means I have an excuse not to be chattering away, but I can still be verbal, in a sense. Which, reminds me.

With this terrible and very annoying cough making me go into fits every few minutes, it's been impossible to sing without clacking up a lung, which is depressing, to say the least. I'm thinking I have mild allergies or something to this area, because I never used to get sick so often before. It's very depressing to long to work on my vocals but hardly ever get a chance to between winter(and now) summer colds/coughs. I drink plenty of orange juice, I don't get out in the sun quite enough to please my mom, but it's not like I'm lacking in tons of vitamins or anything. But the last couple of years I've been almost constantly sick with some throat-related illness or other. And the nosebleeds just get ten times worse when I have a runny nose, too. X _ X Meh. I probably use more toilet paper than the rest of the household sometimes when I get those nosebleeds. Really need to find a way to get rid of that. My mom says they can somehow burn the blood veins in my nose to stop that from happening(I know, FYI for you few readers out there, but hey, it's my journal. You should know better than to expect me to skim over stuff like this. What do you want me to chat about? That headband I saw at the mall the other day? It was shiny. Get over it.), but at this point, it's unreasonable to bug my mother about getting a doctor appointment to find out about that. Besides, with friends and family that are walking around with what could be dangerous and maybe even terminal illnesses, who am I to complain about nosebleeds? We'll write it off as hilariously hentai-esque and get my loved ones some cavities pulled, and figure out why the migraines never go away. I'm not trying to be pathetically self-sacrificing. I'm one of those people that loves to be logical when it suits them. The logical way is to take care of the vitals first, the important things, then deal with the minor issues later. So don't any of you send me that LOOK, okay? I'm a relatively healthy person. And I'm not afraid to speak up and get what I want/need. Especially of us kids, I'm the more straightforward one. This doesn't mean I lack any tact(though I'm sure I do), but it means that when someone says, "Do you want to pick something out?" I go over and pick something out. Not sit there for twenty minutes claiming that I don't want/need anything, that I'll be fine, I'll be okay, forget about me, what about you? Jeez. If you don't want it, say so. If you're always denying you want something, then how are we to know if you really DO want it, or you really DON'T? Makes life ten times more confuzzling, IMO.

........

And did you know that a good way to boost your natural metabolism is to have at least a small snack as soon as possible when you wake up? If you wait too long your body goes into 'starving mode' and clings on to everything you eat all day, as if it's your last meal for a long time(which it would be). Also, you should try not to eat anything a couple of hours before going to bed, and smaller, more spaced out meals are better than three big or even moderately sized meals. I've definitely done that last one for a few years. I'm a certified Snacker Person. Give me a plate full of cheese slices, tomatoes, and grapes, or something and I'll be happy for a while. Unfortunately, this also means I love junk food, too. Like potato chips(LAWLIET), chocolate bars, and chewing gum(which rocks, by the way. A good way to get jaw strength without talking about stupid things. If you wonder why one would want lip-smacking endurance, I say, "what will you do in those long, late-night debates, eh? EH?), and such. And soda. Mmmm...

This fact might also explain why I pick off everyone else's plates. Not in a Helen Keller kind of way, GG. But I see them chatting(see? Told you) away and they definitely aren't going to eat it, so I reach over and take that last bite of mashed potatoes, or macaroni, or whatever.

Working on my art some more. Really hoping that a unique style is starting to surface here, guys. Because you know me - originality is key. I'm really glad to whoever inventing creativity or first stepped outside that blasted crummy box. Yaaay creativity!

My gramma was watching a gameshow tonight. I think it was Who Wants To Be A Millionare. The question was something about a phrase for people who react strongly to beautiful art, or something like that. There were four choices, and the guy called up his friend the psychiatrist to ask him, and he didn't know. I looked at the possible answers. Each of them had a name(one was Jerusalem. O _ o), and one caught my eye. I turned to gramma and muttered, "I'm just guessing. C."

It was right. Of course it was. Otherwise why would I be telling you about the situation? She seemed shocked that I guessed it correctly, and asked me why I thought that. I shrugged and told her that the C answer sounded "like an artists' name". Wish I could remember what it was. I'm sure one of you guys would have heard of the artist. [shrug] Ah, well. Maybe I should watch a gameshow or something all the way through sometime. To this point I've never watched one from start to finish. I'm always just sauntering through the room and halt for a moment to see if I can get it right or not.

Man. My sketches are especially sketchy. O _ o They're impossible to clean. I'm thinking about trying out a couple of tester manga-type pages. To see if I can buckle down and take some time on the cleaning. I've realized my biggest problem is taking the time to do my art right. If I focus on it, I can usually get it to go right. By the way - I think I'm finally getting the profile view down! Still need some serious work on the chin/neckline area, but hey, they don't look like monkeys anymore! : D

Aaaaand it's almost 3:30 in the morning. And I have other stuffles to do. G'night, lahves!

is pensive Mascii

2008-08-17T05:56:47Z

Life has many lessons. Here are just a few that I've learned recently.

(1) Mascii really shouldn't be staying on the compy way after hours. She'll get grounded or reminded of how stupid directly disobeying is, and how she should be learning good habits now.

(2) Mascii still remains wide awake until 3-5 am, no matter if she is in bed or on the compy.

(3) Fruits Basket is an adorable and very kiddie anime. Kyo-kun reminds Mascii of her kitty cat.

(4) Mascii is a supreme procrastinator. So much so that she starts yelling at herself in her head.

(5) Friends can be depressing sometimes. And it depresses you more if you think how depressed they would be if they knew you were depressing them.

(6) Friends can be shallow and take advantage of their Masciis if Mascii does not keep them in line.

(7) Talking in third person is made of pwnage.

(8) Many people Mascii knows shock her when they don't know what an emulator is, don't have irfanview, any music-playing programs, or winrar installed on their computer, or have prejudices against things Mascii loves. This may or may not make her more of a computer geek than she lets herself believe.

(9) Mascii just wants to mention again that friends can be depressing. Particularly if they're being shallow and insensitive. Sometimes even selfish.

(10) Sweet moments with babies can brighten a person's day. And Mascii knows how to play with babies and make them giggle.

(11) Mascii learned today how to fold up a really fancy stroller, all by herself. She had to take the baby out first, though. Then hand baby and the four other bags she was holding to someone else so she could use both hands.(it was a really fancy stroller)

(12) Cosplaying is for the cool people.

(13) You are really only as old as you feel and act. Mascii plans on being a 90-year-old crone with tons of cats who goes to rock concerts and headbangs with the best of them.

(14) Actions speak louder than words. In fact, actions are the equivalent of screams and shouts of joy when it comes to getting things across.

(15) Mascii has a temper.

(16) Yumichan, Mascii's cousin, has a lot of bitterness inside of her.

(17) Mascii's youngest sister just had her birthday party today. Mascii knows because she signed the card.

(18) There is a 5% chance that Mascii's first car will be a Buick.

(19) Cake is good. Rootbeer floats are pretty nice too.

(20) Mascii can use big words in sentences ----- if she feels like it.

(21) Practice makes perfect -- but don't fret if all the practice in the world doesn't make you perfect. Better to come in second place than pout at the start line.

(22) Magenta ink on Mascii's fingers means that she may be able to print out more sheet music later. That isn't bright blue.

(23) Everyone around Mascii suffers from headaches, dizzy spells, fevers, body pains, tempers, and stress levels out of the roof. It makes Mascii sad to say it, but she wonders why she seems to be the only one not in pain.

(24) Mascii wonders if this is because Mascii's motto is, "I intend to enjoy life, wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. And that's that. If I can't change something I don't like, I accept it as part of my life."

(25) Stress can really wear down on the body and peace of mind.

(26) Mascii is developing into a nocturnal being, one LJ update at a time.

(27) The ability to adapt to any situation is a very precious one.

(28) Simple piano sheet music can put Mascii to sleep at her piano.

(29) Reality is what you make it. You can either hate it, love it, or be a part of it. You can't choose more than one.

(30) Guys in togas with foliage on their heads is a mental image that makes a Mascii smile every day of the Olympics.

(31) If you aren't learning something new....you're dead.

(32) No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. And no one can make you do something if you make the choice not to. Every day we come up with excuses, "Well, I have to go to school today or I'll get yelled at", "Well, if I don't say sorry they'll be mad at me", "Well, what would I do if I asked and she said no?" YOU MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES. Every word you breathe, every step you take, is made from your own choice. Unless they've invented a way for one person to inhabit another's body and force them to move, they can't control you. Once you realize this, things look a little differently all around you.

(33) Number 33 says it is way past Mascii's bedtime.

(34) But 34 wants to add that Mascii cannot wait until Sept 2009. And Deesan knows why. w00t w00t!