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Feb. 26th, 2009

On to you

LIKE SHEEP TO THE RHYTHM OF THE WAR DRUUUUUMMMS!

Okies, okies. It's been too long since I updated. I know. You're all thrilled now. XD Right.

New things:

-Ice Storm(shush, I know it was ages ago, okay? I said it had been a long time)
-Dumb sheep(the sheep aren't new. But their expressions might be. And remember the lamb I helped bottle feed? My baby? SHE IS SO THE CUTEST. And she leaps up in this totally adorable way when she's happy. Kicking her legs out in all directions and twisting her fluffy white body sideways. It's LOLable)
-A very good friend of mine has a boyfriend now. ;)
-And so does another good friend of mine! D: ZOMIGOSH YARLY!?
-I've been going to this weekly Youth Group thing, and it's really cool so far. :) I went the first time with Ally(my cousin, remember?) and her sister, as well as MTM. If I hadn't gone, none of them would have. See what I have to deal with? A bunch of scaredy-cats. *pokes them*
-I have a headache. Ouch.

Anyways, met a girl at the Youth Group(daughter of the youth pastor. Go figure. XD) who within five minutes of knowing me was talking about starting a Christian band with me. As soon as she heard we both played piano. XD Silly enthusiastic peoples, you make me smile.

Youth Group has a dancing session in the beginning, learning interpretive dance routines to Christian songs, which is fun to watch, but I feel no desire to join. I don't express myself through dance. I choose other means, you know?

Okay, so a little testimonial-type thingy... there's this girl at the Youth Group. She seemed a little snarky, and was talking bad about the awesome youth band we have(one of the members MTM is starting to favor already), saying they were 'freaks and drummers' or something. I didn't want to be mean to her or judge her or anything, since I know nothing about her, but I didn't go seeking out her acquaintance, you know?

Well, sometimes God plans amusing and strange things to you that you just have to smile at. This week she came up to me out of the blue and started showing me her ringtones on her cell phone.(Why? I dunno...teens are random) She said she could only stand one song, and it was her ringtone, etc...I tried not to mention that in the three months I HAD my laptop, I had acquired several hundred songs at least...

Then she hands me this notebook, showing me this random-sounding piece of writing. I didn't get what it said - it seemed to be a note to someone. I dunno. *shrug* I didn't comment much, but responded alright I suppose. This girl was trying my patience, but I told myself not to judge or be mean. But I couldn't help being a little cold - I'm not naturally a rambler in public, really, preferring not to say anything unless I mean it or need to -and lately, I've been struggling with people I meet just taking-taking-taking from me, and leading me down a road of drama. They force me unknowingly into a ring of being-in-the-middle I can't escape from.

During the ministry-period tonight, she sent the notebook back to me, and a pen. It basically said she knew this guy at school who had a girlfriend, but said he loved HER, and she told him she loved him back, and was that wrong of her to love him?


.....0_o

Why, I wondered, is this nearly complete stranger asking me for relationship advice? GG, when you say my talent is encouragement, I had no idea the implications such a 'spiritual gift' would bring. Why do people ask ME for advice? I've never dated, had a boyfriend, or even been on a date. The only time my lips ever kissed a boy, I shoved him over and ran away shouting at him. I holed myself up reading most of my young life, and I loved it. I don't do relationships or seek people out I can give advice to. But for some reason, people must get the feeling I know something they don't.

Obviously, I wrote her back a note with the most sensible answer, in as simple and yet gentle a term as I could. "Trust and faithfulness are VERY big and important in a relationship. If he does this to his current gf, staring a relationship with you when he's still in a relationship with her, why wouldn't he do that to you? If he does love you, like he says, he would leave her and start dating you. It isn't wrong to love a person - but if he loves you he should know she isn't right for him, and would date YOU." Or something like that. She started writing a note back to me, as I tried to listen to the sermon and stop asking myself what I had said to make her think I was the younger, female version of Dr. Phil, or whatever.

She didn't finish her note before we were let out, and she said that she got exactly what I was trying to say, and something else I didn't hear all the way. Anyways, it was weird, and kind of funny. Perfect strangers are asking me how to deal with things. I've never seen her asking other people these kinds of things, so I don't think she's just gushing to anyone nearby...but it was odd.

GG, that situation I emailed you about is going okay, btw. There was a text or two, but I'm trying not to initiate anything extra or questionable. A bit stand-offish, I guess. But that's the only way I see to handle it. The problem is similar to above - I don't ASK to give them advice, or ASK about their lives. They just COME to me, and I don't want to just say, "No, bugger off, won't ya?"

So I guess I'll just stay a little colder to them, or something. I don't need to give advice, and I don't need other people to tell me what's wrong with me, or anything like that. I just...I like to be myself, and sometimes to be by myself. *shrug* I know who I don't want to associate with, but they just FOLLOW me around.

Anyways. CONGRATS TO MY TWO FRIENDS GG AND MOONY. I STILL LOVE YOU MORE THAN HE DOES. BWAHAHAHAHA. <333

Now I may go to Gramma's and play the wii all night. Relationship free, and just fine that way. I feel like I have to remind everyone that. Because it's true. And people seem to be a bit afraid that I'll get depressed or something if I don't have the same joy of a relationship that they do. It's true - I'm jealous that the guy'll get more time with you than I'll get. But that doesn't mean I don't like him, or that I'll ever stop loving you. :) Or that I'm unhappy.

Next time, remind me to tell you all the story of "Sheets of Egyptian Cotton", okay? It's a really sweet story, and a bit funny. ^.^

Nov. 13th, 2008

i love emo boys

A Mascii Meme

Because I love to torture you meme-addicts so.

These are basically questions I've always wanted to ask all my friends but I always forget before I get a chance to, or I can't find a non-random way to ask after I overkill my randomness points for the day. Do it if you want, don't if you don't.

[Y/N SECTION]

1. Have you done more than four memes in the last two months?

2. Have you ever screamed into your pillow?

3. Have you walked in the rain alone?

4. Been laughed at for using a long or uncommon word?

5. Own a cell phone?

6. Like your current hairstyle?

7. Happy with your handwriting?

8. Play one or more instruments proficiently?

9. Been on LJ for more than a year?

10. Snorted while laughing?

11. Waiting for "The One"?

12. Have you ever held a friend as they cried?

13. Can you do HTML, or CSS?

14. Know without looking them up what those last two acronyms stand for?

15. Ever sang in the store under your breath?

16. Knit or crochet?

17. Do you give people 'points'? As in, cool points or nerd points or sarcasm points?

18. Do you know a person who REALLY annoys you but you can't find a way to get rid of them?

19. Ever find yourself overthinking things?

20. Know an entire song in another language that you could sing right now?

21. Have an article of clothing that makes you feel good just wearing?

22. Like being touched?

23. Do you think you are beautiful/pretty/handsome?

24. Do you regularly exercise in some form?

25. Use some sort of cleaner/anti-acne cream?

[QUESTIONNAIRE SECTION]

26. What is/are your religion/beliefs? (As lengthy as you like)

27. What is the most attractive feature on a person to you?

28. What languages do you speak and how fluently?

29. Coolest video game(s) ever?

30. Look at some of the people you've become close to. What kind of people would you say are drawn to your company or vise versa?

31. Which do you find yourself listening to more: popular, mainstream music that people recognize or indie and unknown bands that haven't hit it big yet?

32. How many songs are on your most commonly-used music player? (As in itunes, mp3 player, ipod, etc..)

33. How would you describe your 'style'?

34. Where do you see yourself in ten years? What kind of things would you like to accomplish?

35. Tell a personal story of yours, be it funny, sad, or just self-descriptive to you.

36. Anyone ever call you 'emo'? (What was/would be your reaction to that?)

37. What is the silliest/strangest thing you've done for the sake of drama/your emotions?
(For instance, mine was making myself cry so I'd have tearstains on my diary pages. I was a weird kid. XD)

38. What is your drink of choice?

39. Your favorite character(s) and why?

40. Okay, I'd like you to name off some of your closest friends, and list off a couple of things you really love about them:
Tags: ,

Sep. 10th, 2008

On to you

(no subject)

Okies, in new news. My gramma and I FINALLY finished Pride and Prejudice! It was her first read, obviously. I've read it...haha....maybe four times all the way through, numerous partial reads.(Particularly a certain scene in a certain room with a certain endearing character proposing to another endearing character. You know you love me.) We read from chapter 50 something to the end just tonight, which isn't bad. BTW, the stuff between Elizabeth Bennet and Lady Catherine de Bourgh is freaking PRICELESS. I mean, that is verbal sparring at it's utmost hilarity. I saw a few fork-tongued comments, and since I read it aloud to my grandmother, I got to use a really sharp tone, and of course over-enunciating all my words for her. XD I do voices when I read. Dig it.

Watched Cinderella Man tonight. I know, everyone else has probably seen already, and I always watch things years after everyone else, but dad borrowed it for lack of something new-ish to watch(seriously, he's watched all the James Bonds numerous times. I probably would know which one you're talking about if you alluded to one, and I didn't even really watch them), and he chose Cinderella Man. I happened to have finished a loverly posty for GG at KC's site, and had little else to do, and he asked if I wanted to watch it and I said, "Okies." And started my Nemo sheet music a-printing. (W00t! w00t! I multitask from across the house. Hurhur.)

My right hand is so cold right now it's all stiff and hard to type. X_X Gramma left all her windows and doors open for the last few hours and it's coooold outside. Comparatively to recent temps, that is.

Anyways, I've always wanted to do reviews on some of the films I watch, and I'm bored, so I guess I'll do that now. As an added plus, I've way over-used my allotted commas for the evening in the last two paragraphs, so this should be fun.

WARNING: I'm not going to bother avoiding spoilers because it's just annoying and I don't think it'll cause you to lose much for enjoying the film. (or not enjoying the film)

Okies -

Story Idea/Concept: A man's journey through the Great Depression, along with his personal challenges and challenges as a boxer champion. A first glance at the summary, IMO, doesn't offer much intrigue. But it holds a lot more to it than first glance. The way the script was written seems a bit similar in structure to, say, the Rocky shows, where I could tell he was gonna win the fights you got to see(except in the beginning of course. You have to show them losing in the first part of the movie, to try and throw you off track. I realized this at about age...9? 10?), and the only question win-wise was whether he would get pummeled badly or REALLY badly. A couple of times, though, I wondered about the OTHER things he was risking in his more personal-level journey. The losses in his life in the little moments, not so boxer-important, touched way more than the also-compelling and stress-inducing poundings he took to his face numerous times. From the start, when you could see, hear, and practically FEEL the bones in his hand breaking, it was moving. I didn't think, "well, now he's out of a job", or at least, not at first. I felt for him at that moment, and the indescribable, mind-boggling pain. For the future, the loss of that hand and how it was a vital piece of his existence at that time. You feel a sense of foreboding when you first see his family, a warning of the challenges ahead.(BTW, they did very well at letting you see their 'normal' lives before the real conflict hit. I think it was a very believable fashion in which it was written and filmed. It started from what you thought was his most important thing(his boxing), to what was really at the top of the list for him(family), and then to his acceptance and keep-fighting attitude.

But back to the feel-for-him thing. The representation is heart-wrenching. From the first few moments of the jump forward in time to his extreme fall into poverty, I was left questioning, "How bad has it really gotten for him?" "What other sort of challenges is he facing?" the little details, the little moments and dialogue, as well as props and setting, did very well to convey the realism and brutal honesty of the fact that he was facing a very challenging time, but he was determined to continue. I especially loved and enjoyed the scenes between Jim and his wife, both in their previous good fortunes, into their bad times, and further still into their worst of times. The moments where they would stop talking and just look into each other's eyes, then embrace each other, were very well-timed, IMO. A good, subtle expression of their "my one true love forever and ever", and they get extra points for not needing to emphasis this in what has now become traditional Hollywood way - a not subtle scene of fondling leading into direct or alluded-to sex. *rolls eyes* It's over-done, people. You need to get that and find a new way to express extreme attraction and/or love, IMHO.

Alright.

Script: Pretty much awesome. There were a few kinks, but only as much as can be expected. Scripts can't be all-pleasing, and I'm not one to criticize in-depth on this since I've only been paying all that much attention to wording/phrasing/deliverance for a modest amount of time. There were some adorable moments, some hilarious moments, some thought-provoking moments, and some totally pwning moments, though. So I liked it. A thousand times better than anything Barbie's coming out with, I guarantee that. XD

Acting/Actor Choices: Pretty good. Strong lead(Russell Crowe as Jim Braddock), which is always vitally important. I feel the pain etched across his features was played just a hair too subtle(he broke his hand in three places!? Got punched hard below the belt twice in one fight? Maybe I'm just overwhelmed by the idea of such pains, but it seems like it would be shown outwardly a liiiittle bit more), but still well done. Out of 10 I would give it an 8 1/2. : ) His manager(Paul Giamatti as Joe Gould, a very familiar face) was hilarious just to watch walk through the room and a little underused, but all his parts were played well. Renée Zellweger, who played Jim's wife Mae, always seemed a tad too distant for some of her other roles, but she fit this role well. Mae seems just like a 1930's woman should be - a bit prideful in her determination to appear poised and everything's-fine, but very strong and in control of herself. Her and her husband's life, however, is a little harder to maintain. There's a little clip of a scene where she is heading to Joe Gould's to insist he not pull her husband back into the ring, where she is storming across the street and to the building. Man, my dad looked over at me and said, "She looks like a woman on a mission, doesn't she?" She has just entered the screen, was notably far-off, and you could just SEE the determination in how she held herself and how she walked. Brimming confidence and self-determination. Well-played, Zelwlweger. *applause*

(Plus, the fact that she was dirt-poor and her wardrobe still remained notably nice, and perhaps even fashionable? A well-placed and I believe well-researched decision on behalf of the crew.)

Bruce McGill, who played Jimmy Johnston, a very feisty character indeed, was pretty intimidating. Not overtly so(he's not the villain of the story, if you're looking for an easy-definition). The best quote to describe himself was thus, "My heart is for my family. My brains and my balls are for business." He's tough, rough, and I doubt very much the cream puff, but I feel for his character. You don't make it rich and prosperous during a Depression if you're not fierce, and for me, Mr. Johnston emanated a sense of abruptness and power. Also, this actor looks SO familiar to me, but I cannot for the life of me find out what I've seen him in. *shakes head* My memory is so poor these days...

A character I found underplayed was Mike Wilson, played by Paddy Considine. This actor looks fairly new on the acting scene, and perhaps it was the character more than the actor, but his part intrigued me. There was a sense of wonder at the little dialogue he was offered, and I felt there wasn't very much emphasis on his own struggle. But I suppose there wasn't much information on him, as well as the fact that you don't want to take away from your lead character. Mike was very 'young-patriot' like, and he has a bit of talk about an uprising, I believe, organizing people to work things out, but it never really finishes that storyline in the way you expect. And while unpredictability can be good, it just felt odd, the way it was represented.

Character Development: Ahh...there was a really nice character development in this, I believe. It wasn't one of your "coming of age" stories that have been popping up like wildfire in the last few years of films and books, and it isn't one of your, "my life was utterly changed after.." stories either, really. It was one of those stories about your grandfather you hear, and you keep trying to imagine how he must have felt, why he acted the way he did. You begin to see it through his eyes in a very realistic fashion. It's your everyday Joe turned unexpectedly into an icon sort of tales. No, there isn't some cheesy sideplot(or main plot) about how money and fortune changed him - just the opposite, his consistency of character was very touching to me. Jim displayed continually how a family man can struggle, how a proud man can stumble but keep his pride in the end through perseverance, how a devout praying man can mutter the words, "I'm all prayed out" in one of his darker hours, and how a little optimism can go a long way. It was the little things he did that made a difference. The bigger things just accumulated. The seemingly small tasks became vital to his character, and the really intense moments arrived when you started seeing things through his eyes.

One of my favorite scenes is when he is really getting back in the ring after years of sickness, poverty, and just trying to muddle through, and he is standing before his opponent, about to give up. When he flashes back to his wife and kids, and the children's empty beds when his wife had to send them away until they got back on track(they were getting pneumonia from no heat and little food, no lights and few clothes, etc). I just found it intense and film-wise gratifying to see the look of sheer stubbornness and drive flash in his eyes. It was way better to me than all the punches and boxing huggles previous or following.

Video Presentation/CGI/etc: I think it was actually decently done. There were some of the fight scenes that seemed a little awkward to follow, especially when it panned around the actors in the ring. Besides being a bit dizzy it was difficult to follow what was going on. But I suppose this is a supreme challenge for the camera to get the right stuff, especially for fast-moving fight scenes like that. A good idea is consistency for ease of viewing, but not being too predictable with your angles. The special effects used was seldom and well-placed. A good use of subtlety, and allowing a storyline to show through. This seems like such a rarity these days that I can't help but repeat the praise of this: HURRAY! THEY DIDN'T SPICE IT WITH A BILLION SPECIAL EFFECTS AND LET HIS STORY SHINE BRILLIANTLY AND CLEVERLY!

: ) One of the most notable moments is the breaking of his hand. For a moment you receive a flash of what looks like an X-ray view of his hand shattering, if I recall correctly. This added with sound effects, created a very cringe-worthy moment. Bravo on that. *cringes and claps*

Oh yeah, and with our 'evil-dude', we have the curly-haired Max Baer, played by Craig Bierko. Wow, so much anger issues in one character. He played your nearly-stereotypical smart-aleck, double-chick-loving sleeze, but I did laugh pretty heartily when in the final fight scene Jim's manager throws a one-liner at him and he can't resist turning to spat back, and Jim nails him one in the jaw. XD He couldn't resist...

Action sequences has been dealt with, so I think that only leaves...

Music/Sound Effects: I've always wondered how a punch in boxing makes such a weird thumping noise like that, but recently I've decided it has less to do with impact to the shoulder/neck/nose/whatever, and more to do with the punching gloves.

Don't mind me there, I'm just rambling oddly. I think of weird things while doing day-to-day stuff.

Most sound effects were well-placed and I didn't catch any notable odd sounds. Which is good. If something had been out of place a person is more likely to hear it. The less you notice in sounds/music, the better it is.

Music-wise, I didn't pay much attention to it since the plot was so moving, but there were some nice moments. I'll probably watch it again and pay more mind to it, but the general idea is that it was passable. Nothing was oddly placed in a severe or frown-worthy fashion, but I get a bit in-depth and picky about my music selection. This being action-driven, there was vastly more sound-effects(crowds cheering/booing, crunching of bones and the shouts of referees) than music, but there was still some moments where it added to the feel of the movie. And like I said, the less you notice the music/sounds, especially the first time, the better. Unless they are trying hard to be epic(good or bad, I mean) then it should blend right in with the movie experience.

Overall, it was a fantastic movie, and one of the better plotlines I've seen. The actual boxing scenes were a bit intense - especially the last one - though they were a little predictable, IMO, especially being such an echo of other such films as Rocky. But personally, I don't think this story is much about boxing -- it's about Jim. It was Jim that moved the story along and Jim that you learn to care about. And it's Jim, the Cinderella Man, that makes this story worthy of watching again. One of those movies that you remember years down the road and say to yourself, "That was a pretty cool movie..." and then you watch it again and are reminded of just how awesome and impacting it was.


~~~

Okays, done with my rambling review. XD For the record(I've had people ask me about this before) I don't organize my posts or reviews or comments or anything like an essay. I edit and rephrase a little bit here and there, but I don't reread it until I've posted it. It's all train-of-consciousness, almost. And yes, your little Mascii thinks about all this while she watches her films. You should hear about some of the films I've been forced to watch again and again, because of my siblings who like to rewatch movie money-makers and sequels of what used to be purely fantastic Disney movies. *sigh* But I have seen a steadily incline of good heart-wrenching films recently. So that's good. *thumbs up* Bring back the plotlines! Subtle use of CGI should be mandatory, I'm beginning to think.

Hm...and also, I watched the Ellen Degeneres show with my gramma. We watched last night's episode and tonight's. Last night she had the Jonas Brothers on, apparently, as well as Michelle Obama(not sure if that's how she spells Michelle, I'm afraid. My apologies. It's late). So I asked if I could watch with, since I was interested in seeing both of those guests. And both were for the same reason, to be honest - I'd heard a lot about them/her, and I wanted to see for myself in an interview what they/she was/were like, etc. To scope them out, per se. See what my gut feeling tells me, then what my mind elaborately tacks on.

Mrs. Obama -- quite nice, she definitely dances in a pretty cool way, IMO. XD Barack's dancing, which they showed a clip of from when he was on Ellen's show, just made me laugh and think of my own father. What's that tell you? I'm really hoping these guys are as down-to-earth as they seem...I'm not naive enough to think that there isn't the possibility of appearances, but I also think that certain influences on my life have instilled just a tiny bit of paranoia in me when it comes to people. Heh...well, I liked watching the interview moderately. It didn't offer too much information since Ellen is clearly the comedic, but it was funny to see the doghouse/whitehouse. XD I don't have much to say because the interview was so short, I'm afraid, but she talked about how she's dealing with everything and what their kids think of daddy maybe being president and such.

Jonas Brothers -- (bear in mind I have no idea what their names are. Haha...is that lame or just funny?)-- kind of an adorable and endearing interview. IMO, the Bros had nothing on Mrs. Obama's dancing, but they tried. (the camera showed a teenage girl screaming and freaking out in the audience. I was wondering if she was gonna pass out or something) Hahaha...and I laughed at the diaper comment. Hearing singers/actors talk about their mother has always been strangely hilarious to me. Because then I imagine the stories and laughs I could tell about my mom and dad. And surprise people with the fact that, even as a teenager, I think my parents are COOL! XD I really do. They aren't perfectly in-synch with today's trends, I dare say, but if they were it would be apparently because they were trying to hard to be cool in their kid's(or the younger generation's) eyes. But no, they're just fun to hang out with. :) And hearing the Bros chit chat about their mother's reaction was interesting. Plus, the comment about how two of them still share a bedroom? Totally my sister and me. We have this huge house right now(four-five bedrooms, two full baths, lots of empty space. XD We're moving soon), and we still keep sharing a bedroom. Not because we have to - just because it feels kind of empty without someone else there. College dorms are no issue with me. ;)

Okays, so after the interview the Jonas Brothers closed the show with a live performance that had all the fans screaming their heads off. I really paid attention to this part, especially for your sake, GG. You know me -- I'm up for anything new, and even if I shy away from the popular stuff mostly because I know I'll get sick of all the merchandise I'm sure will be shoved underneath my nose, I'm open to these sort of things. Especially music. Well, I'll just say I'm not going to be handing over any dough for Jonas Bros CDs anytime soon. I put a lot of opinion on a band overall by their live performances, and I saw them on Dancing With The Stars, and now on Ellen. Neither performance had me in the least way enthralled. The vocals I found muffled-sounding and ill-fit to the melody lines for the most part, and the lyrics were nothing astounding. The actual instruments were passable and kind of catchy, but nothing significant to my ears. *shrug* I've wondered often what their HUGE fanbase is based on, but I can't seem to find anything I find remotely believable. But of course, that's just my personal opinion and tastes. I'm not downing them or saying they suck -- I just don't prefer their music. There was one song of theirs I was humming for awhile, though...I think it was, "Year Three Thousand"...but I think that was a cover, to be honest. X_X

Okies...so I promised GG I would recommend some music to her. To be fair, I was trying to wait until I had an uber-pile to send your way, lahve. So I could be momentarily impressive with my ultra-music prowess. For at least a millisecond. Until you all realize that I am severely deprived on what's "happening" and am really in the dark about most things.

I dunno if you've heard of these names, but...meh.

For GG, I think you should totally look up the bands...
"Acceptance" -- makes me think of Yukito, and my muse for him is on full blast right now! I think Leelee gave me their stuff, and I like it. : D So much cool new music over the last week! I miss music-snatching.
"A Perfect Circle" --the sound is sooo soothing, and there are some freaking amazing meanings behind those lyrics. It's nostalgic, and they're definitely near the top of my list
"Fastball" -- their songs make me think more of a more shallow part of my life, I suppose. It's hard to explain, really. But it's my easy-listening stuff. That kind of music you play in the background over speakers while doing five million other things, yet you can't really blast out your hardcore music that might offend some listeners. Very catchy stuff, too. Not near as soothing as A Perfect Circle, but worth a hearing.
"D'espairsray" -- One of my favorite bands right now. Pretty emo and hardcore scream stuff, plus it's in Japanese, but...man, those songs can play through your head ALL day. My ultimate fave by them is, "Forbidden". One night I dreamt that song was placed to a music video for DeathNote. XD Yes, I can dream music videos. Warning: this band has some language. Not all of it in English. LOL!
"Savage Garden" -- I was practically weaned on their stuff. Two-person-band, but done in a lovely way, IMO. The lead singer sometimes sounds like a girl, but hey, it was the 90's. Go synths. Simplistic accompaniment, not-quite-popish melody lines, and some decent lyrics. Caaatchy tunes. One of those bands that everyone tends to sing along to.

And GG, you've officially addicted me to Flyleaf. Played it on repeat all day, day before yesterday. Mom calls it 'whiny music', though. And my brother calls Pillar 'racket'. X_X Why, why, WHY!? Open up your musical horizons, people! It's still music! Now MTM says that screamo isn't her thing and she doesn't see it as a musical art form or anything like that. *sigh* I suppose differences of opinions need to be allotted for, but this means I can only play MY music once in a great while. The rest of the time I have to play their stuff or wait until those rare moments when I don't have to keep an ear open for little kids I'm babysitting or when my mother needs my help with something. *siiiiigh*



Okay, did something totally dorky in Walmart the other day. Was out shopping with my brother for groceries....$100 for the week, for 7+ people. We got everything on the list plus an extra can here and there for safety, and we were under budget. Yaaay! Only $12, but stiiiiill! It's my second time shopping without mom correcting amounts and such.

Alright, so near the checkout line was one of those huge cardboard display things. I stopped humming, "Cassie"(would have sung it if I wouldn't have scared people by randomly belting "...Written on that bul-leeeeeet! And Cassie pulled the tri-i-ggerrrr...!") and sent it a Mascii double take. It had a circle on it and it said, "History of Rock'N'Roll" or something like that. On the circle around it, there was written various band names and artists, like Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Queen....and Queen....

So what does Mascii do? She grins and lets out a little gasp, scampering over to look at the CDs sitting atop this loverly little cardboard thingy.

And what does she see?

What CD does she end up picking up to smile at, as three or four people look her way curiously?

Jonas Brothers.

Where was my Queen? There were lots of empty spaces, and once or two albums by some bands I liked or had heard briefly. But there were, ten or twelve Jonas Bros albums. I have nothing against them, I SWARE. But...where was my classic bands? *cries* They abandoned me. I could not find them. No Iron Maiden, no Black Sabbath, no Eagles, no Beatles, nothing I would listen to and really, truly enjoy.

....And thus I was left heart-broken in Walmart, holding a Jonas Bros CD as people looked on strangely..wondering what this strange teenager was doing gasping, rushing over, then looking so forlorn. Walmart, we've never been on good terms. But now you have utterly failed me.

This was somehow worse than when I found out our library had NO manga, no anime, one Japanese book, only the first in the awesome Montmorency series, and yet held EIGHT COPIES of each of the Harry Potter books, tons of fluffy adult romance novels, a huge box of 'Blondie' comics, and two huge sections for Videos and DVDs. And their audio/CD section was severely lacking. This sucks so badly.

Then brother came up with the money to check out, so I continued in line. *sigh* Then he skittered off again to look for lemon juice and left me standing awkwardly with the checkout lady and waiting customers. *glare* He abandoned me for most of the shopping trip, too. Wandering around and letting me pick out the correct sauce for our chicken alfredo. I'll be cooking it, too. Because I'm awesome like that. CHICKEN ALFREDO WITH SUN-DRIED TOMATO SAUCE IS MY FAVORITE MEAAAAALLLL...

Anyways, this is further physical evidence of Mascii's dorkism. It's been a long time developing, but I think we're finally making some real progress.

Oh, and all my friends except maybe one or two seem to go through bouts of severe depression. I'm wondering if, like some people, I attract a certain type of person? I dunno. I've just recently been offhandedly told that I'm comforting and am a good listener. I was thinking about that. You know, sometime between bags of shredded cheese and 2 liter soda on sale....

Aug. 22nd, 2008

On to you

Mountain Dew Doesn't Fix Everything

Another late night on the compy, and another day where I felt like I didn't accomplish anything.

Mom has just gone into a bit of a paranoia. She heard that the President is going to pass Martial Law, which I haven't quite fully understood yet, but know enough to realize that it's something very serious for us if it comes to pass. This means she wants me 'off the radar' in case of any future trouble. She says that her and dad are in so much debt that if the military took over, they'd probably get locked up. Many scary thoughts coming from this, but to be honest, I'm nowhere near as concerned about it as she is. It does concern me directly right now, though. I was about to finally get my written permit out of the way, apply for a job, etc. But now she says that she wants me to wait awhile, at least until September.

This creates a problem, since there's a lot I need to be doing right now. Most of it involving 'getting on that radar' so I can start my life off on a nice jump-start. Or something similar to a jumping start. Really, it's more like a hobbling and hesitant start, but an eager one, all the same. I've told her I'll wait a little while, but I can't go very long. There's just so much to get done! And knowing myself, once she gives me the go-ahead it'll still be a while before I get off my procrastinating bottom and do it. Meh. X _ X

Meanwhile, the forum is going splendidly. I'm sure I've talked about it before on here, but it's just passed it's first year anniversary, and that makes me very happy inside. ^ . ^ There aren't many members, but all of them are really cool and active. There are one or two I have reservations for, but they're all wonderful writers that I'm glad to have in the group anyways. Each of them brings something unique to the table, and sometimes I sit and think about how awesome it is to have such a talented circle of writers.

No, I'm not kissing up to anybody. I really sit and think about that sometimes. Now I just wiiiiiish my lieeeeeeeege would join.

(Now we start in the kissing up) I may just perhaps might finally finish that D/H stuffles I started for yooooooou if you joooooooin iiiiin...[bats eyelashes sweetly] I know it's been forever and a year, and I'd have to read my own stuff to get back in la mode, but I'd do it for you, lahve! : DDD You don't have to commit to a bunch of stuff, but I really wanna see what kind of drama and fun you could come up with. Also, I think it would be a fantastic way to teach your writing muse a lesson. Before I roleplayed, my writing was very, very spastic. The recurring posts and the fact that you don't have to commit to a long session of writing makes it optimal, IMO, for writing practice. Not only that, but you can learn from other's mistakes and see other writing styles, too. ^ >^ Pwease!?!

Also, I played some Tori Amos music for my cousin Yumichan, and she really liked "Girl". It's ironic, really. That she picked that song out of all the others. The lyrics kinda go like this, "She's been everybody else's girl/Maybe one day she'll be her own..." Ha. Just like poor Yumichan. Maybe one day she'll be her own girl and not constantly fret about taking care of everybody else. My current project with her is getting her to see and believe how beautiful she really is. She is, too. She has an enviable warm skin tone like my sister, and big brown eyes constantly brimming with laughter and energy. Kind of skinny, but she'll probably fill out more once she's done growing, then she'll be tall and slender. She has a cute little nose that's slightly upturned and a pretty mouth that's constantly smiling. And more beautiful than her physical appearance is the love and fireball energy she's always emitting. I love her so much. I'm just still so afraid for her, to be frank.

[sigh...]

In other news, the last few weeks I've been plagued with a cruel cough that just WON'T leave me alone. Everyone else around me is getting it, too. My mother especially hard. X _ X I think I gave it to them, because for some reason people like to hang out around me. Wonder why...it's not like I'm as outgoing in real life as I am on the web. You see, peeps, normally I'm not very chitter chattery. I'll talk easily when the situation calls for it, but with seven plus people running in circles around me and always a moderate to high noise level, I'm not the first to make small talk. My sister says I 'balance out' in a situation. Meaning, if you jabber and jabber and jabber, I'll quiet down and listen to you. But if you're shy and quiet, I'll talk so that you don't have to(and hopefully don't feel very obligated to). I think I inherited it from my parents. Monkey-see monkey-do kinda thing, you know? By the way...'Monkey-See Monkey-Do' was a cool kid's book. Ever read it? One of those reading program books. Very thin. Low reading level. Very funny. Anyways.

You guys all get to see what goes on in my mind as I'm sitting her, without a smile or any outward signs of enthusiasm, typing away at an alarming rate. Maybe that's why I like playing instruments so much. It means I have an excuse not to be chattering away, but I can still be verbal, in a sense. Which, reminds me.

With this terrible and very annoying cough making me go into fits every few minutes, it's been impossible to sing without clacking up a lung, which is depressing, to say the least. I'm thinking I have mild allergies or something to this area, because I never used to get sick so often before. It's very depressing to long to work on my vocals but hardly ever get a chance to between winter(and now) summer colds/coughs. I drink plenty of orange juice, I don't get out in the sun quite enough to please my mom, but it's not like I'm lacking in tons of vitamins or anything. But the last couple of years I've been almost constantly sick with some throat-related illness or other. And the nosebleeds just get ten times worse when I have a runny nose, too. X _ X Meh. I probably use more toilet paper than the rest of the household sometimes when I get those nosebleeds. Really need to find a way to get rid of that. My mom says they can somehow burn the blood veins in my nose to stop that from happening(I know, FYI for you few readers out there, but hey, it's my journal. You should know better than to expect me to skim over stuff like this. What do you want me to chat about? That headband I saw at the mall the other day? It was shiny. Get over it.), but at this point, it's unreasonable to bug my mother about getting a doctor appointment to find out about that. Besides, with friends and family that are walking around with what could be dangerous and maybe even terminal illnesses, who am I to complain about nosebleeds? We'll write it off as hilariously hentai-esque and get my loved ones some cavities pulled, and figure out why the migraines never go away. I'm not trying to be pathetically self-sacrificing. I'm one of those people that loves to be logical when it suits them. The logical way is to take care of the vitals first, the important things, then deal with the minor issues later. So don't any of you send me that LOOK, okay? I'm a relatively healthy person. And I'm not afraid to speak up and get what I want/need. Especially of us kids, I'm the more straightforward one. This doesn't mean I lack any tact(though I'm sure I do), but it means that when someone says, "Do you want to pick something out?" I go over and pick something out. Not sit there for twenty minutes claiming that I don't want/need anything, that I'll be fine, I'll be okay, forget about me, what about you? Jeez. If you don't want it, say so. If you're always denying you want something, then how are we to know if you really DO want it, or you really DON'T? Makes life ten times more confuzzling, IMO.


........

And did you know that a good way to boost your natural metabolism is to have at least a small snack as soon as possible when you wake up? If you wait too long your body goes into 'starving mode' and clings on to everything you eat all day, as if it's your last meal for a long time(which it would be). Also, you should try not to eat anything a couple of hours before going to bed, and smaller, more spaced out meals are better than three big or even moderately sized meals. I've definitely done that last one for a few years. I'm a certified Snacker Person. Give me a plate full of cheese slices, tomatoes, and grapes, or something and I'll be happy for a while. Unfortunately, this also means I love junk food, too. Like potato chips(LAWLIET), chocolate bars, and chewing gum(which rocks, by the way. A good way to get jaw strength without talking about stupid things. If you wonder why one would want lip-smacking endurance, I say, "what will you do in those long, late-night debates, eh? EH?), and such. And soda. Mmmm...

This fact might also explain why I pick off everyone else's plates. Not in a Helen Keller kind of way, GG. But I see them chatting(see? Told you) away and they definitely aren't going to eat it, so I reach over and take that last bite of mashed potatoes, or macaroni, or whatever.

Working on my art some more. Really hoping that a unique style is starting to surface here, guys. Because you know me - originality is key. I'm really glad to whoever inventing creativity or first stepped outside that blasted crummy box. Yaaay creativity!

My gramma was watching a gameshow tonight. I think it was Who Wants To Be A Millionare. The question was something about a phrase for people who react strongly to beautiful art, or something like that. There were four choices, and the guy called up his friend the psychiatrist to ask him, and he didn't know. I looked at the possible answers. Each of them had a name(one was Jerusalem. O _ o), and one caught my eye. I turned to gramma and muttered, "I'm just guessing. C."

It was right. Of course it was. Otherwise why would I be telling you about the situation? She seemed shocked that I guessed it correctly, and asked me why I thought that. I shrugged and told her that the C answer sounded "like an artists' name". Wish I could remember what it was. I'm sure one of you guys would have heard of the artist. [shrug] Ah, well. Maybe I should watch a gameshow or something all the way through sometime. To this point I've never watched one from start to finish. I'm always just sauntering through the room and halt for a moment to see if I can get it right or not.

Man. My sketches are especially sketchy. O _ o They're impossible to clean. I'm thinking about trying out a couple of tester manga-type pages. To see if I can buckle down and take some time on the cleaning. I've realized my biggest problem is taking the time to do my art right. If I focus on it, I can usually get it to go right. By the way - I think I'm finally getting the profile view down! Still need some serious work on the chin/neckline area, but hey, they don't look like monkeys anymore! : D


Aaaaand it's almost 3:30 in the morning. And I have other stuffles to do. G'night, lahves!

Jun. 19th, 2007

On to you

Shakespeare always was one for drama

Even if I mean that in a way he did not intend. By which I mean, he did not create the well-known and appreciated 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' to be thrown against the nearest wall.

*ahem*

It's been stressful around here lately. Lots of relatives are getting on my nerves, and I'm silent merely because my parents value the relationships, and wish to teach me that it's not always in my best interest to speak my mind. And since I love them, I will *try* to listen.

*SIGH*

I was arguing with my sister today, and something snapped. I wanted to hit something, ANYTHING. The urge was uncontrollable. I knew the signs. My fingers were itching to grip hard around something, and my neck and face were heating up. I feared loosing control completely and hitting my dear sister. So I turned, and picked up the nearest object I could get to. Which happened to be 'a Midsummer Night's Dream', the full script(save for the last Act, but...whatever). I had spent the previous day carefully printing the entire thing out and organizing it by Act into a binder. And because I didn't want to ruin the pages, I refused to punch holes or staple them together. Besides, Act III is too thick to staple, so why bother doing any, if not them all?

So, through the urge to let out my frustration without injuring a fellow human, poor Shakespeare's (probably most well-known, after Romeo and Juliet) work went flying across the room at a speed I didn't even think possible coming from me. It hit the entertainment center, then bounced across a chair, to land in the middle of the floor, the sheets flying in every direction like the cloud of an explosion reaching out to the far corners of the room. Because I was too angry to explain to my sister just WHY I had thrown something I obviously value across the room so violently, I stormed out, ignoring the fluttering papers at my feet.

She apparently had a few questions for me once I'd cooled down(moderately), and we worked it out. Of course, stupid as I am sometimes, I didn't have the foresight to realize she would take my outburst as a personal insult, and continued to blame herself. *SIGH*

Anyways, things got taken care of after that, because in all seriousness, if a sister/friend/etc of yours threw stuff across the room, you know they mean to get down to business, yes? At least it brought out some release. I took a shower afterwards, and put on some eye-liner(it helps. Strange, but it helps). Everything's cool now, I suppose. Until the pressure builds up again. Normally, I would bring up a semi-cool, semi-lame metaphor to dwell upon, but I'm just not in the mood today. I have schoolwork to do.

Oh, goodness. That reminds me. I failed my Science test. Bleargh. Mom is planning on having a 'talk' with me about it. Y'know the drill. I'll end up feeling brainwashed and uneducated by the time it's over, because I acted like the cliché teen and didn't THINK.

Hey, I just looked back to my first entry on this livejournal. I'm having a mental party in celebration, like an anniversary, but not really.

I can't believe how close I've gotten to some of my online friends. It's almost like being best pals in real life. Though I know I'd feel very young compared to EMMa, since she's going to college soon an all. And I'd feel left out socially next to Whiskii, who's a ball of fire when it comes to anything musical.

*SIGH* <-this time of contentment.

Thought of some possible band names. All my good ones are taken by death metal bands. I seriously contemplate whether this is a hint.I_I

My ideas thus far are "Midnight Reverie"(taken), "Evenfall"(taken), "Mythomania", "Eolith".

Mythomania (I believe) is the manic incapability of telling the truth. To put it simply, it's the condition were you spontaneously tell lies.

Eolith is..*heh heh* a crude stone, by dictionary definition. Don't ask. I just think it sounds cool. Isabella agrees we could pull it off, 'because we ROCK!'

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